On Love Squares, Triangles, and Pairings Simple
by Aeshdan
Summary: When Cat Noir heard his Lady claim to be dating his civilian identity, he hoped that claiming to have a girlfriend of his own would catch Ladybug's attention. But he had no idea just how true his words would become, or how swiftly and unexpectedly his dreams would come true.
1. Chapter 1

Marinette landed in a crouch atop the rooftop, blue eyes scanning the surroundings.

 _Damn,_ she thought, glancing around once more before rising from her crouch. Behind her, Cat Noir landed in a whirl of black leather and limbs before bouncing to his feet.

"Anything, Milady?" asked Cat Noir.

"Nothing," replied Marinette. "Foxfire's escaped again."

Cat Noir let out a deep rumbling growl. Marinette fully agreed with the sentiment. While Foxfire's teleportation power seemed to be limited to line-of-sight only, her ability to teleport several times in rapid succession made her almost impossibly fast when trying to disengage. And worse, she seemed able to convince Hawkmoth that just because she was running away at the moment didn't mean she didn't ultimately intend to get him the Miraculouses he wanted. Marinette supposed it was lucky that Foxfire had surfaced on a Saturday, as otherwise she'd have already missed an entire day of school. As it was, she'd missed lunch and was on a fair road to missing dinner as well.

There was a long pause, then Marinette flicked open her yo-yo and started scrolling through news sites, looking to see if the akuma had been spotted anywhere.

"So..." asked Cat Noir after a few minutes had passed with no news of the akuma, "Assuming we manage to capture the akuma sometime soonish, would you be interested in joining me for a movie later? Or dinner, or both?"

Marinette sighed. She was in no mood for his antics, not after spending hours chasing the akuma all over Paris. "Look, _mon chaton,_ you're very cute, but it's never going to happen."

"And why not?" demanded Cat Noir. "Why is it so im- _paw_ -sible for you to ever fall for me?"

Marinette winced. She knew this was going to hurt her partner, but she had to say it sooner or later. "Because," she said, trying for a gentle tone, "there's already someone else."

Sure enough, Cat looked like he'd been punched. "Who?" he breathed.

Marinette bit her lip, briefly thinking. It wasn't as though revealing her crush would give away her identity. Half the teenage girls in Paris had crushes on Adrien Agreste. And if she didn't give Cat Noir a name, he would probably assume she was lying and only redouble his efforts.

"Adrien Agreste," she said out loud.

* * *

Adrien was stunned. When he'd heard his Lady say she was dating someone else, his query after the other's identity had been mere reflex, a gasp of pain from a breaking heart. He hadn't expected Ladybug to actually answer, and he doubly hadn't expected her to _lie_ to him.

But there was no way around it. He was Adrien Agreste, and he knew perfectly well that despite all his best efforts he was _not_ dating Ladybug. In fact, he wasn't dating _anyone_ , so Ladybug couldn't even mean that she was dating him in her civilian identity.

She had _lied_ to him. Ladybug had _lied_ to him.

Why? What possible reason could she have for lying? If she really was dating someone, and she was afraid that revealing the other's identity would reveal hers, all she had to do was say so. And if there was some other reason why she was always turning down his advances, surely she could at least tell him the truth.

An idea flashed across his mind. _Turnabout is fair play. If she's lying to me, then I get to lie to her. And maybe this will get her attention_.

"Well, I suppose it's good to know that I'm not the only one with a very special somebody," he said, pasting his best fake smirk on.

Ladybug blinked. " _Really_? _You_ have a girlfriend?"

"Just because you don't appreciate my charms doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't, Bugaboo," he said with an overly-elaborate bow.

"That's not what I meant!" retorted Ladybug. "What girl would be alright with dating someone who's constantly flirting with another girl?"

Adrien tried for a chuckle. "Oh, she knows it's just teasing."

Ladybug let out a laugh of her own. "Alright, who is the lucky lady? Maybe I should send her some chocolates or something, let her know she has nothing to fear from me."

Adrien _had_ realized that Ladybug was likely to ask that question, but even a few moments' advance warning isn't a lot. He blurted out the first name that came to mind. "Marinette Dupain-Cheng!"

* * *

 _What_.

Marinette couldn't believe her ears. Cat Noir was supposed to be dating her? _Cat Noir_ was supposed to be dating _her_? Had he somehow figured out her true identity? What was going on?

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng?" she sputtered.

"Yeah, Marinette. You remember her, the girl you had me protecting from Evillustrator ?"

"But-"

Before she could respond, or even figure out what she wanted to say, she was interrupted by a simultaneous chime from her opened yo-yo and Cat Noir's staff. She glanced down at her yo-yo, then she snapped it shut and looked back up at Cat Noir.

"Foxfire's been spotted. The Asian restaurant on Ave Dupain, between 12th and 13th." Even as she spoke, her yo-yo leapt forth from her hand to wrap around a streetlight, and she leapt from the building in the now-familiar looping arcs of yo-yo travel. Cat Noir was right on her heels, bounding from building to building.

* * *

 _Hours later_

Marinette dived in through her balcony door, and landed sprawled on her bed.

"Ugh," she groaned into her pillow. "Tikki, spots off." As the energy of her transformation left her, she almost passed out. Even in Ladybug form, she'd been exhausted. Without the magic to boost her, she was about ready to fall asleep on the spot -

"Marinette! Marinette!"

\- If it wasn't for Tikki chirping in her ear like that.

"What?" she said. But before Tikki could respond, Marinette heard her balcony door start to open, and Tikki disappeared under her pillow. Rolling over, Marinette saw a familiar figure framed against the night sky.

"Cat Noir?" she asked.

"Hey, Princess," he replied. "So… I kinda need your help with something."

"Uh," said Marinette, scrambling for words even as she scrambled up into a sitting position. _Remember, you're Marinette! Marinette doesn't know Cat Noir, doesn't fight alongside him, doesn't save Paris. Marinette runs and hides when akumas show up._ "Wh-what could you possibly need _my_ help with?" she managed to get out. She was pretty sure that she already knew what Cat Noir was going to ask her, but hopefully if she made it harder for him to ask, it would buy her a moment or two to figure out what to say in response.

Cat Noir sighed. "Mind if I come in? This is a bit of a long story."

"Ok," she said. Cat Noir flipped in and landed on her bed, settling into a cross-legged seat.

"So," he began, "I'm not sure if you know this, but I, well, _like_ Ladybug. A lot. So earlier today, I asked her out for dinner, and she said she already had a boyfriend."

"What?" Marinette asked, before biting her lip in terror. _You weren't there, stupid!_ she thought. _You don't know that you didn't say that. Don't give the game away now._

"Oh, no, that's not the interesting part," said Cat Noir with an odd grin. "The interesting part was that she was _lying_."

" _What!_?" Marinette couldn't hold it in. "How could you _possibly_ know that?"

"Because," said Cat Noir, "When I asked Ladybug who she was dating, she said it was _me_. And I _know_ I'm not dating Ladybug, so…"

"Wait, what?" said Marinette. "Ladybug said she was dating… you?"

"Not _me_ me, the other me!" said Cat Noir. "When I asked Ladybug for her boyfriend's name, the name she gave was my civilian identity!"

Marinette knew Cat Noir was still talking, but she had no idea what he was saying. All her brain was focused on processing what Cat Noir had just said.

 _When Cat Noir asked me who I was dating, because he apparently thought I'd said I was dating someone, the name I gave was his civilian identity. But the name I gave was Adrien Agreste. Which means…_

 _Cat Noir is Adrien Agreste._

It was like a bomb going off inside her brain. Suddenly fact after fact seemed to fall into place. The identical builds, identical hair colors. Identical voices. How Adrien always seemed to vanish right when Cat Noir was about to show up.

 _How did I not see this before?_

"… So will you do it?" said Cat Noir.

"Uh, yeah, sure?" she said hazily.

Cat Noir – _Adrien_ – broke out in a huge smile. "Thanks! I promise I'll be the best fake boyfriend you never had."

 _Oops._

Cat Noir let out a laugh. "So, how do you want to go about convincing Ladybug we're dating?"

"Uh…" Marinette replied, "don't you have any ideas?"

"Not really," admitted Cat- _Adrien_. He looked so sheepish that Ladybug wanted to tackle him to the bed and kiss him. Not that she would do it, but she wanted to.

"I can't just appear on the Ladyblog and announce that we're dating," said Adrien. "Nobody'd believe me. I guess maybe I could just show up at the bakery sometime tomorrow with flowers or something. That way your parents would see me and start the gossip chain, but there shouldn't be any Ladybloggers with cameraphones to make it part of the permanent record."

"No!" squeaked Marinette. Then she took a deep breath. "Sorry, but no. I don't want my parents to be the first witnesses to this. They're the last people I want thinking I'm dating you."

"Me- _ouch_ ," said Cat Noir. "Restrictive parents?"

"Worse," said Marinette. " _Supportive_ parents."

Cat Noir blinked. "How is that worse?"

"Ok, imagine you're kissing Ladybug," said Marinette.

"Ok…" replied Cat Noir, a dreamy expression on his face.

"Now imagine your dad popping up out of nowhere to offer you cookies and comment on how cute the two of you are."

Marinette barely managed to keep from bursting into laughter at the comical expression on Adrien's face. He nodded a couple of times. "Yeah, yeah, I get the picture. Ok, home visits are out. Uh… what about a dinner date?"

 _Say yes, Say yes, Say yes!_ screamed one part of Marinette's psyche, in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Alya. _The boy you have been drooling over for the past year has just asked you out on a date. For the love of_ God _, say yes!_

 _No, no, no!_ insisted a second mental voice. This one sounded like Tikki. _You cannot seriously be thinking of going ahead with this fake dating plan. There are so many ways this could go wrong. Just imagine what Alya would be like if she caught wind of Cat Noir and you dating._

"Maybe…" is what she actually said.

"Yeah, maybe…" replied Cat Noir. Then he gave a truly evil smirk. "Ooh, I've got an idea. You doing anything tomorrow night?"

"Um… no?" replied Marinette.

" _Purr_ -fect," Cat Noir purred.

"What do you have in mind?" she asked warily.

Cat Noir grinned like –

 _Oh God, am I seriously going to think that?_

-like the cat who got the cream.

 _I thought that. I seriously thought that._

"Oh no, _Purr_ -incess," said Cat Noir. "This is going to be a _su-_ purr _-ise_." And with that, he leapt backwards off the bed, and somehow managed to grab the balcony ladder in mid-flight.

"See you tomorrow, Princess," he said, before disappearing up through the balcony door.

"See you tomorrow," Marinette echoed.

There was a long moment of silence, then Marinette took a deep breath. "Oh. My. God."

"Yes?" chirped Tikki, popping out from under the pillow.

"Cat Noir is Adrien Agreste."

"Oh, so you did figure it out," said Tikki. "Nothing to be done about that now, I suppose."

"And Cat Noir has a crush on Ladybug."

"Yes," said Tikki.

"And I'm Ladybug."

"Yes?" said Tikki again, clearly wondering where this was going.

"Which means that… _Adrien_ has a crush on _me_! Ohmygod, Adrien has a crush on me! And we're going to go on a date tomorrow, and then we'll kiss, and-"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" said Tikki. "Adrien doesn't _know_ he has a crush on you, remember? He's just pretending to date you in order to get Ladybug jealous so she'll fall in love with him."

"Oh. Right," said Marinette.

For a moment, despair seemed to overtake her. But then, something deep down inside her _shifted_. Marinette knew she wouldn't have the nerve to do what she was proposing to do if it had been just Adrien taking her out. But it wasn't just Adrien. Adrien was Cat Noir.

 _And I can handle Cat Noir._

"Tikki," she said. "You're tagging along on this date with me. And if everything goes right, Kitty-cat is going to get a 'su- _purr_ -ise _'_ of his own."


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER:** "A Whole New World" is from Disney's _Aladdin_.

* * *

Marinette hoped her mother and father wouldn't get it into their heads to come upstairs just now. She didn't particularly care to try and explain to them why she was out on the balcony at night, made up to perfection, wearing a knee-length strapless red dress that she'd last worn when she was a bridesmaid at a cousin's wedding and gazing out over the Paris skyline. She hadn't been kidding when she spoke to Cat Noir about the dangers of supportive parents, and she was drawing a blank trying to come up with any false explanations that wouldn't get her into even more trouble.

 _God, I hope this works out,_ she thought. _This is going to be my first date with Adrien, sort of. I really don't want to mess anything up._

She suppressed the temptation to giggle. _At least the nerves go with my cover story. Marinette Dupain-Cheng barely knows Cat Noir, and probably has a bit of a hero-crush on him. It's perfectly natural for her to have butterflies in her stomach-_

Marinette winced at the sudden mental image of a black-winged akuma landing on her chest, dissolving into mind-twisting darkness. There was a thump behind her and she started, almost flipping over the railing before she caught herself and turned around. Sure enough, Cat Noir was standing behind her with a Cheshire cat grin on his face.

"Hello, _Purr_ -incess," said Cat Noir.

"Hello, Cat Noir," said Marinette, trying to calm her racing heart.

Cat Noir gave her a long, appreciative look from head to toe, the sort of look that Adrien Agreste would _never_ give, the sort of look that made Marinette's face blush to match her dress. "Well, well," he purred. "Don't _you_ look lovely all dolled up? Good thing we're only _fake_ dating. If I were about to take you on a _real_ date, I'd be seriously worried for your _purr-_ ity _._ "

Marinette made a squeaking noise and tried not to melt into a puddle of goo. Mask or no mask, that was _Adrien_ standing in front of her, saying things and giving her looks he'd only said in her dreams. "Ready for your su- _purr_ -ise?" he asked.

Marinette took a deep breath. "As ready as I'll ever be," she replied.

"Then let's be off," said Cat Noir. One clawed finger flicked down to tap the cat's-paw icon on his staff where it hung from his belt. On cue, music began to play.

"I can show you the world  
shining, shimmering, splendid."

 _Those things are so handy_ , thought Marinette. _Is there anything they_ can't _-EEP!_

Cat Noir bounded forward and literally swept her off her feet, catching her into a bridal carry.

"Tell me, princess, now when did  
you last let your heart decide?"

Marinette threw her arms around Cat Noir's neck as he leapt from her balcony, arcing through the air to land on a rooftop across the street.

"I can open your eyes  
take you wonder by wonder  
over, sideways and under  
on a magic carpet ride."

As soon as he landed, he was off running, leaping from rooftop to rooftop with inhuman strength and grace. Marinette clung to him in mingled terror and exhilaration as Paris flashed by beneath his feet.

"A whole new world

A new fantastic point of view  
no one to tell us no  
or where to go  
or say we're only dreaming"

This was nothing like roof-hopping as Ladybug. That was skill and freedom and control. As Ladybug, she knew that she could go where she wished and do as she liked. But now she'd been both literally and metaphorically swept off her feet, and all she could do was cling to Cat Noir for dear life and enjoy the ride.

"A whole new world

A dazzling place I never knew

But when I'm way up here  
it's crystal clear  
that now I'm in a whole new world with you"

Of course, her hormones didn't help matters either. She was in the arms of her crush, pressed up against his chest so hard she could feel his heartbeat through the smooth leather. More level-headed girls than she would have been giddy with desire in such a situation.

"Unbelievable sights

Indescribable feeling  
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling  
through an endless diamond sky"

 _"Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling" indeed,_ thought Marinette. _I never imagined tonight would feel like_ this. _And "unbelievable sights" as well. Even now, there's part of me that expects to wake up. Oh God, if this_ is _a dream, I don't_ ever _want to wake up._

"A whole new world

Don't you dare close your eyes  
a hundred thousand things to see"

 _Where the heck are we going anyway?_ Marinette twisted against Cat Noir's chest, and suddenly saw the Eiffel Tower looming up in front of her. _Oh my God._

"I'm like a shooting star  
I've come so far  
I can't go back to where I used to be"

 _How true that is,_ thought Marinette as an almost hysterical laugh burst from her lips _. Even if I wanted to, I can't go back, not now. Once I knew Adrien was Cat Noir, neither of our relationships would ever be the—WHOA!_

Suddenly, Cat Noir's arms shifted beneath her. One arm clasped her to his chest, while the other whipped out his staff from his belt. The music continued unabated as Cat Noir planted his staff and used it to vault up, up, up…

"A whole new world  
with new horizons to pursue  
I'll chase them anywhere  
There's time to spare  
Let me share this whole new world with you"

At the peak of their arc, Cat Noir's staff leapt out to catch in the iron girders of the Eiffel Tower. The staff bent like a bow and then sprang back, hurling them upwards and inwards even as it retracted into his hand in a flash of silver.

"A whole new world  
That's where we'll be

A thrilling chase  
A wondrous place  
For you and me."

With a thud, Cat Noir landed atop the Eiffel Tower, and gently set Marinette on her feet. A wave of one claw-gloved hand indicated the blanket and cooler he must have set out in advance. "We're here, _Purr_ -incess," he said.

* * *

Marinette took a shaky breath and tried to calm her racing heart.

"That was... quite a ride," she said breathily.

"I had a _feline_ you would like it, _Purr_ -incess," said Cat Noir with a broad grin. "Figured if I was going to ask you to be my fake girlfriend, the least I could do was show you a good time on our fake date."

She pointed to the picnic blanket and cooler. "I'm guessing that's the other half of the 'su- _purr-_ ise'?"

" _Claw_ -some deduction, _ma princesse,_ " said Cat Noir, opening the cooler and starting to pull out the contents. "Let's see, we have assorted sandwiches, grapes, apple slices, bottled water, soda pop..." He let out a very Cat Noir-ish snicker. "... and what's this here at the bottom? Why, I do believe it's champagne!" He straightened to produce a small bottle, with the head wrapped in foil.

" _Champagne?_ " echoed Marinette. "Seriously, Cat Noir, I'm starting to wonder who it is you've actually got the crush on. Especially as I still haven't the foggiest idea how any of this is supposed to convince _Ladybug_ that we're dating."

 _Though it's certainly doing a good job of convincing her right now,_ she thought with a mental giggle.

"Ah, that's the easy part," said Cat Noir with a laugh. "See, what struck me last night was that I don't want to convince _the public_ that we're dating, I just want to convince _Ladybug_. So all I need is to take a few photos of the two of us enjoying a romantic midnight picnic together, maybe with a kiss thrown in for good measure, and show those to Ladybug. She'll be convinced, but the public in general and certain parents and Ladybloggers in particular won't be motivated to hound you to the ends of the earth."

 _That... is actually really clever,_ thought Marinette. _If he'd picked any other girl to try this with, it might even have worked. I wonder if it counts as good or bad luck that he happened to pick me? On the one hand, he picked the one girl who was guaranteed to make his fake dating scheme fail. But on the other, if his scheme_ had _worked, I would have been relieved, not jealous. Or well, I might have been a_ little _jealous, but I'd have repressed it because I was in love with Adrien and had no business crushing on Cat Noir. As it is, now I know that Cat Noir is the boy I secretly love._

 _So he inadvertently ruined his scheme and achieved the goal he'd designed the scheme to achieve, all at once. What are the odds?_

"That's very clever of you," she said out loud, allowing herself a small smile.

"Why, thank you," said Cat Noir with a flamboyant bow. "Chicken and cheddar or ham and swiss?"

"Chicken," replied Marinette.

Cat Noir selected a ham and cheese sandwich, and the two of them took their seats. Cat Noir fiddled with his staff for a moment, then held it at arm's length.

"Smile for the camera!" he said.

Marinette tucked herself up next to Cat Noir and smiled shyly. There was a flash of green from the staff, and then Cat Noir pulled it in closer.

" _Purr_ -fect," he said, and Marinette had to agree. The photo-Marinette looked utterly adorable, while the photo-Cat had all the dashing charm of Cat Noir at his most reckless. And the two of them looked perfectly comfortable together. If Marinette were anyone else, that photo would have convinced her that the two of them were at least close, if not actually dating.

Neither of the two said much until the sandwiches were finished. For Marinette's part, she didn't dare say too much for fear of revealing her true identity before the perfect moment. And as for Cat Noir, though she wasn't sure, she guessed that he had run out of flirty dialogue. After all, it wasn't as though Adrien got too many chances to practice.

Or perhaps it was simply that neither of them wanted to break the moment. Their picnic had taken on an oddly dream-like quality. Their silence seemed somehow indescribably appropriate, and any talking seemed somehow as inappropriate as talking in the middle of a church service, or shouting in a library.

As Marinette was finishing up her sandwich, the vague ideas that had been percolating around in her brain suddenly came together.

 _Dear Lord, that would be the_ perfect _revenge on Cat Noir for what he's trying to do to me. I just hope I can pull it off._

She took a deep breath. "I-I think this would be a good time for that champagne," she said, trying to keep her tone soft and nervous. Which wasn't that hard to do, considering that she was suddenly once again acutely aware that she was sharing a romantic picnic atop the Eiffel Tower with _Adrien Agreste_.

"I believe it would," said Cat Noir. He stripped off the foil and sent the cork rocketing off into the distance.

 _Wonder where that will end up?_ thought some little corner of Marinette's mind.

With commendable dexterity, Cat Noir poured the champagne into a pair of flutes.

"Cheers," he said, raising his glass.

"Cheers," echoed Marinette, and they each took a sip of their champagne.

Marinette had never had champagne before, but she suddenly understood what all the hype was about. _No wonder champagne's the symbol of love,_ she thought. _It's sweet and bubbly and fiery all at once, just like a girl should be._

"And, uh," said Marinette, and she had no idea how much of the tremor in her voice was the shock of the champagne, how much was nerves, and how much was her desire for Adrien, "you said something earlier about... a kiss?"

Cat Noir smiled. "Indeed I did, _ma princesse._ If you don't think that would be going too far?"

"N-No," she stuttered. "I don't mind."

Cat Noir's smile grew. "Just a moment..." he said, setting down his champagne glass. One hand flicked his staff to camera-mode, the other wrapped around Marinette and pulled her closer to him.

 _Wait for it..._ thought Marinette as Cat Noir - as _Adrien_ \- leaned in. _Wait for it... Now!_

"Tikki," she whispered. "Spots _on_! _"_


	3. Chapter 3

Marinette had timed it perfectly. She had just enough time to see Cat Noir's slitted pupils dilate in surprise before a cloud of rose-colored sparkles blocked her vision, and she felt the familiar rush of the transformation right as Adrien's mouth made contact with hers.

 _Oh Lord God Almighty, I'm kissing Adrien Agreste!_

She felt Cat Noir lean into the kiss, and she was more than happy to reciprocate, closing her eyes and focusing all her attention on kissing Adrien. What had doubtless been intended as a mere peck for the camera-staff became much more. She heard a faint clatter, and a moment later she felt Adrien's other arm wrap around her and hold her close. Her own arms came up to embrace him, one wrapping around Cat Noir's leather-clad shoulders, the other tangling in his hair. Then she felt a pressure against her lips and let them part slightly, and she felt Adrien's tongue slip into her mouth. Her own tongue came forward to caress his.

Marinette had no idea how long they held the kiss, but eventually their mouths separated. Marinette opened her eyes to see Cat Noir's green orbs staring into her own.

"Oh, My Lady," purred Cat Noir. Then he suddenly stiffened. "My Lady!" he repeated in a startled tone, disentangling from her arms. "Oh God, you're Marinette!"

"Afraid so, _mon chaton,_ " said Marinette.

"Then I…"

"Told me that you were dating me in order to make me jealous of myself," finished Ladybug with a smile. "And did a magnificent job of it, too. This has been everything I ever wanted from a first date, and a whole lot more besides."

Cat Noir grinned ruefully. "I look a _purr_ -fect fool now, don't I?"

"Hey, it's not _all_ your fault," said Marinette, reaching out to flick his bell. "I'll admit it was a _bit_ mean of me to keep my secret and then spring it on you the way I did. Don't worry, nobody ever need know about this."

"And look on the bright side," she continued. "Now that we know each other, we can go on dates whenever we want."

"You… _want_ to go on a date with me?" said Cat Noir.

"I wasn't lying, yesterday," said Marinette, fighting a sudden rush of embarrassment.

"You weren't?" said Cat Noir. "I still think I'd have noticed if I were dating you, whichever faces we were wearing at the time."

Marinette sighed. "I didn't say I was _dating_ you, or at least I didn't mean to. I meant to say that I had a crush on Adrien Agreste, and that's why I couldn't act on any feelings I might or might not have had for Cat Noir."

Cat Noir pounced on Marinette's phrasing. "So you did have feelings for me!"

"A little, maybe. I don't know. Until last night, I was very deliberately _not_ letting myself think of Cat Noir as anything other than my partner, because I was so infatuated with Adrien."

"And I was doing my best to ignore Marinette's crush on me and not let myself see her as more than a friend, because I was devoted to Ladybug," said Adrien ruefully. "What a mess we made. Only two people, and we managed to get ourselves into a love triangle. No, wait, a love _square_."

"I wonder how much longer we'd have kept it up, if you hadn't said what you said?" said Marinette.

"Lord alone knows," said Cat Noir. "You're not mad at me for revealing my identity, are you?"

"No," said Marinette. "You couldn't have known that I was Ladybug, and what you told me couldn't have revealed your real identity to anyone else. I am a _bit_ annoyed that you felt it necessary to _lie_ to me, though, even if you thought I'd lied to you first." She laughed. "Then again, I suppose I can't be _too_ annoyed, considering the results." She leaned in for another kiss.

"Yeah," said Adrien breathily, once his mouth was free, "Hard to feel the fool when you're kissing the girl you've had a crush on for the better part of a year." And suiting action to word, he leaned in again.

"Uh, speaking of crushes," said Marinette a few moments later, "would you mind de-transforming? I'd kind of like to kiss _Adrien_ at least once tonight."

"Not a _paw-_ blem," said Cat Noir with a smirk. "Plagg, claws in!"

"Tikki, spots off!" said Marinette at the same moment. Pink sparkles filled her vision, and when they cleared, Adrien Agreste was sitting next to her. She gathered her nerves and leaned in for the kiss, wrapping her arms around Adrien to hold him close.

"Well _finally!_ " drawled an unfamiliar voice. One of Marinette's arms came free and swatted blindly at the voice, before returning to its place tangled in Adrien's hair. "I mean, seriously, do you have any _idea_ how annoying it was to watch my kitten _pining_ like that? It was almost enough to put me off my cheese!" There was a ripping noise and a gulping sound. "Almoft," the voice continued, now sounding rather muffled.

"Oh shush, you old sourpuss," chirped Tikki. "I think it's very sweet."

"You would," said the unfamiliar voice.

There was a moment's pause, and then a tiny chirp. "Missed you," said Tikki.

"Missed you too," said the other voice, now much softer and more sincere.

Adrien and Marinette came up for air and turned their heads to take a look. Tikki and what had to be Cat Noir's kwami were embracing in midair, eyes shut and all their attention seemingly turned to each other. It was the kind of embrace Marinette often saw from her own parents, and seeing it from her kwami made a sudden pang shoot through her.

 _How long has it been since those two were together last?_

The two kwamis broke apart and turned their attention to their Chosen.

"What?" asked Cat Noir's kwami in his original tone of voice.

"Wow, Plagg," said Adrien. "I never knew you cared about anything other than cheese."

"The things you don't know about me could fill a whole library of books," said the cat-kwami. "Say, are you going to finish that champagne?"

"Uh, there's plenty in the bottle," said Adrien.

"But first, introductions!" chirped Tikki. "Marinette, Plagg. Plagg, Marinette."

Plagg rolled his eyes. "Fine. Adrien, Tikki. Tikki, Adrien." Then he dived for the champagne bottle.

Tikki dived after him. "Not yet, Plagg!" she said, grabbing him by the tail. "They've still got to get back down, remember? I'm sure Adrien will let you have all the champagne you want once you're back at his house."

"Whatever," said Plagg, but he changed course and instead made for the sandwiches.

"Actually," said Marinette. "We probably should be getting back home." She paused for a moment to let out a yawn, then continued. "It's very late, and I wouldn't want my parents wondering where I disappeared to."

"Yeah, probably a good idea," said Adrien. "Plagg, claws out!"

Plagg just managed to grab the last piece of cheese from the sandwich he'd been disemboweling and stuff it in his mouth before he was pulled into Adrien's ring. Green lightnings played over Adrien's form, and then Cat Noir stood there instead.

"Tikki," said Marinette. "Spots on."

The sparkle of the transformation blinded her for a moment, and when it cleared Cat Noir was holding his staff, with the screen extended from the top and a –

 _No. I am not going to think that! Enough with the stupid puns, brain!_

 _-_ a _very pronounced_ grin on his face.

"I _fur_ -got about this, earlier," he said. "Came out just about _purr_ -fect, though. Here, have a look."

Marinette leaned in to take a closer look. It was the photo that Cat Noir had snapped of their first kiss, and it was just as good as he'd said. The two superheroes were both fully transformed, lips locked together like they hadn't a care in the world but each other. Which… was pretty much the truth, of course.

"Do you think we should send this to Alya?" asked Cat Noir. "I have a _feline_ that it would make her day."

"And week, and probably school semester," said Marinette with a laugh. Then she sobered up. "It doesn't really feel right, though. The fact that we are or aren't dating shouldn't be anyone's business but ours. We're heroes, not celebrities."

"I _am_ a celebrity," said Cat Noir. "Always have been. I suppose that gives me a bit of a different perspective from you on the issue of publicity. But if you don't want to _let the cat out of the bag_ , we don't have to. I'm sure there will be plenty of other opportunities to tell the world how I feel about you."

"Thanks, _mon chaton_ ," said Marinette. "Be sure and save that photo, though. When we're old and married and showing our kids our scrapbooks, I'll want it front and center."

Suddenly, Marinette realized what she'd just said, and for a moment she felt like her heart had stopped. Her face felt like it was on fire, and she knew it had to be as red as her Ladybug suit.

Cat Noir began to laugh. "Is that sup- _paw -_ sed to be a proposal, Milady?" he asked.

Marinette covered her face with her hands and mumbled something incoherent.

"Be- _claws_ if it is," said Cat Noir, "Then I think _these_ would be in order."

Marinette carefully lowered her hands, but what she saw instantly made her clap her hands back to her face with a muffled squeak.

Sitting in the palm of Cat Noir's outstretched hand, shining against the black leather of his glove, were a pair of golden rings.

"Milady?" asked Cat Noir.

"Where did you _get_ those?" asked Marinette, letting her hands fall once more from her blazing face. "And why did you bring them tonight? Was Marinette supposed to wear an engagement ring to back up your story about dating her?"

"I've had these for ages," said Cat Noir. "Almost since we met. I figured some day the right moment would come, so I bought these and I've been carrying them around ever since."

Marinette couldn't help laughing at that. "You really are a smitten kitten, aren't you?" she said, taking another glance at the rings. One was set with a single emerald, the other with a sapphire.

 _Blue for my eyes, green for his,_ thought Marinette. Then another thought flashed across her mind. _Oh God,_ _how much did those_ cost _? If those are real gold and gems – and I'm sure they are – then they must have cost hundreds of euros. And he just went out and bought those because he thought I_ might _someday accept his flirting._

 _That cat was –_ is _– seriously into me. Maybe even more than I'm into him._

"Well…" she said out loud. "I think the rule is you're supposed to have at least three dates before getting engaged, and I don't think fighting akumas counts."

"Hmmm…," rumbled Cat Noir. "Tonight's one, obviously. And then there was the time we trained together, just before the Gamer. And the totally-not-a-double-date with Alya and Nino to see the new Star Trek movie. And the one going out to _L'igname Pourpre_ , though that might only count as half a date since we both had to leave when Trumpeter showed up. Plus I could probably think of at least a couple more. And even if we don't count multidates with Alya and Nino, there was the time you and I went out for ice cream, so that plus Gamer plus tonight makes three."

"All true," admitted Marinette. "And I do kind of feel like throwing Alya a bit of a bone. Plus I can't wait to see the look on Chloe's face when I turn up with your ring on my finger." She realized what she had just said and winced. "Sorry, I shouldn't be looking forward to that."

Cat Noir sighed. "No, it would probably be good for her. One of the hardest lessons to learn when you grow up the way Chloe and I did is that it is possible to _not_ get what you want, that there are times when things happen that you would give anything to prevent, and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it. I don't think Chloe's ever learned that lesson, not really, not the way I did when I lost my mother. Maybe this will help teach her."

There was a long moment of silence, and then Cat Noir shook his head as though trying to get water out of his ears and pasted a smile back on his face. "Wonder how long it will take Nino to notice that I'm wearing a ring? I've a _feline_ Alya will notice in half a heartbeat."

"Most likely," said Marinette with a laugh. "Hey, let's be all really casual about it, act like we've been dating since forever. It'll be fun watching them all freak out."

"A fine notion, Milady," said Cat Noir. "But you know they'll eventually ask what we are to each other. What are we to say when we do decide to answer that question?"

Marinette smiled and plucked the emerald ring from Cat Noir's palm. "Let's just call it boyfriend/girlfriend for now, and revisit the 'marriage' idea once we're a little closer to legal age," she said, slipping the ring onto the ring finger of her left hand. "Though if you keep giving presents of this caliber, I can be fairly sure what my response is going to be."

"As you wish, Milady," said Cat Noir with an overly elaborate bow. He put the sapphire ring on the same finger Marinette had, and Marinette felt an odd temptation to giggle as she glanced from the…boyfriend ring on his left hand to the Black Cat's Ring on his right.

 _One of those is worth far, far more than the other. But when we're not transformed, only two… no, four people in the world would know which one it is._

"Good night, _mon chaton_ ," she said, unclipping her yo-yo from her belt.

"Good night, My Lady," said Cat Noir.

With a last wave, Ladybug leapt from the Eiffel Tower, yo-yo already spinning.


	4. Chapter 4

Alya glanced around as she stepped off the bus. To her mild surprise, Marinette was already standing in front of the school and looking far perkier than she normally managed this early in the morning.

"Hey, girl!" said Alya as she angled for her bestie.

"Hi, Alya," said Marinette. "You know, I haven't seen you all weekend. What happened?"

"Oh _God_ , don't remind me," Alya said. "You heard about the akuma that popped up Saturday, right? Foxfire?"

"Yeah," said Marinette.

"Let's just say that a teleporting akuma is _really_ annoying to try and livestream. I must have spent half the afternoon chasing her all over Paris, and I barely got anything worth calling footage out of it."

"Hey, look on the bright side," said Marinette. "At least Ladybug and Cat Noir finally managed to capture her akuma. Just imagine if she was still running wild."

"Ok, fair point," admitted Alya. "But it still cost me more time than I could afford, so I had to stay up way late to get my homework done. Then yesterday, not only did I have nursery duty at church but Mom and Dad both had work after that, so I got stuck handling the urchlings all freaking day!" She stopped and took a deep breath. "So yeah, not the best weekend. You?"

"Nothing as bad as yours," said Marinette with an odd smile. "Went to church, helped out my parents in the bakery, did homework, tried out a dress idea. Didn't get quite as much sleep as I wanted."

"You look very perky for not having gotten much sleep," Alya noted.

Marinette shrugged. "I know, surprised me too. I suppose it'll be catching up to me later."

They were interrupted by a shriek of "Adrikins!" from Chloe. The two turned to see Chloe draping herself over Adrien, who had just climbed out of his dad's limousine. Chloe grabbed Adrien's left hand. "Oh my, what a gorgeous ring!" she squealed. "Is it to match my eyes? Tell me it's to match my eyes."

"Sorry, Chloe, but it's not," said Adrien. He did something twisty with his hand and was suddenly free of Chloe's grasp. "Hi, Marinette," he said, trotting over to join Marinette and Alya with a smile on his face that made Alya feel a sudden desire to go out and buy _Gabriel_ products.

"Good morning, Adrien," said Marinette. She leaned up and gave Adrien a quick peck on the cheek.

 _Wait, what?_

"Babe," came Nino's voice, sounding as stunned as Alya felt, "am I seeing things, or did Marinette just kiss Adrien?"

Alya was suddenly aware that her mouth had fallen open. "No, I saw it too," she said.

"You!" shrieked Chloe. "Hands. Off. My. Adrikins!" She lunged at Marinette, but the later simply twisted out of the way, and Chloe ended up sprawled on the ground with Sabrina standing over her making supportive noises. Marinette and Adrien ignored her and instead headed up towards the school, hand in hand.

Alya stared in bafflement for another moment, then set off after Marinette at a trot.

 _That girl has some serious explaining to do._

* * *

As she entered the classroom, Alya glanced at the clock. Still a few minutes before classes were due to start.

"Girl, what was _that_?" she hissed as she slid into her seat next to Marinette.

"What was what?" asked Marinette disingenuously, with a twinkle in her eye.

"Oh no you don't try and pull that butter-won't-melt-in-my-mouth routine on me, sister," said Alya. "You do _not_ go from being so nervous about someone that you can't speak French in their presence to kissing them in a single weekend! It doesn't happen!"

"Oh really?" retorted Marinette. "And what about you, Miss I-went-from-seeing-Nino-as-a-brother-to-being-girlfriends-with-him-in-a-single-afternoon? Do you really think you have any right to say how other people's romances can or cannot progress?"

Alya struggled for words. "That… that was different! Ladybug locked the two of us in a cage! What's your excuse?"

"Well," said Marinette, "if you _must_ know, he showed up on my balcony last night, serenaded me with Disney tunes, carried me off to the Eiffel Tower for a romantic midnight dinner, plied me with champagne, and declared his eternal love for me. That good enough for you?"

Alya rolled her eyes. "Fine, keep it your secret for now…Wait, what is that on your _hand_?" She grabbed Marinette's hand and held it up to get a better look. Sure enough, on the ring finger of Marinette's left hand was a very expensive-looking golden ring, set with an emerald.

Marinette smiled. "Oh, it's a present from Adrien."

"Right," said Alya. "Girl, you _do_ know what wearing a ring on that particular finger traditionally means, don't you?"

They were interrupted by a shout from the seat in front of them. "Dude, no way! You and Marinette…"

Alya had tuned out Nino's discussion with Adrien to focus on her own interrogation. After all, she and Nino could compare notes later if need be. This, however, sounded important. She glanced up to see Nino gesturing back and forth from Marinette's upheld hand to Adrien's. Sure enough, there was a ring on the ring finger of Adrien's left hand, identical to Marinette's save that it bore a sapphire instead of an emerald.

 _That's got to be the ring Chloe was talking about earlier,_ thought Alya. _The one she thought was picked to match her eyes. But it wasn't, was it? It was picked to match_ Marinette's _eyes. The fact that she and Chloe happened to have the same color eyes was just a coincidence._

 _And Marinette has a ring with an_ emerald _, which just happens to match_ Adrien's _eyes. A ring she said was a present_ from _Adrien. A ring that she's wearing on the same finger Adrien's wearing his ring on. Which also happens to be the same finger where you traditionally wear a_ wedding _ring. Oh. My. God._

There was an explosion of murmurs throughout the classroom, as other minds made the same connections Alya just had. And then a shriek cut through the background noise.

All eyes turned to see Chloe standing in the doorway, with Sabrina just visible behind her. For a moment, Alya saw on Chloe's face an expression of sheer terror like nothing she had ever seen before. Then the terror was eclipsed by blazing fury.

 _Crap_ , thought Alya. _This is not going to end well._

"You!" Chloe hissed, stalking towards Marinette. "How _dare_ you come in and take my Adrikins!"

She lunged across the table at Marinette. One of her hands grabbed ahold of Marinette's left hand, while the other reached for her ring. Marinette's free hand came up to grab Chloe's wrist, holding her back. In the background, Sabrina dashed past and slid into her seat.

" _Enough_ , Chloe!"

Alya blinked. She didn't think she'd ever seen Adrien actually _angry_ before, but he certainly looked it now. His eyes were as hard as the emerald on Marinette's ring, his mouth had flattened into a straight line, and both his hands were clenched into fists.

"I entirely agree, Miss Bourgeois." Miss Bustier's voice was as icy as Adrien's as she strode into the classroom. "Either sit down right this moment, or march straight to the Principal's office."

Chloe straightened to her full height, letting Marinette's hand go in the process. Both Marinette's hands quickly disappeared into her lap. "How dare you!" she shrieked. "When my father hears about this…"

"About _what_?" snapped Adrien. "About how you attacked my girlfriend because… what, you couldn't bear to have me date anyone other than you? Chloe, I'd hoped we could still be friends. I remember what we were to each other before I came here, and I don't want to lose that. But if you make me choose between Marinette and you, I'll choose Marinette. Am I going to have to make that choice?"

"Girl, what the _fuck_ happened over the weekend?" whispered Alya.

"Sssh!" hissed Marinette.

Chloe stared at Adrien for a long moment, eyes wide and mouth open. Then she turned and walked mechanically over to her seat next to Sabrina. Once there, she collapsed onto the desk and buried her head in her arms. Faint sounds of sobbing began to emanate from where her mouth was presumably hidden by arms and head and hair.

 _Ok,_ thought Alya, _what the_ hell _happened over the weekend? I_ know _Marinette and Adrien weren't dating when I last saw them on Friday… Or do I? Could they possibly have been dating in secret for a while, and they just now worked up the nerve to come out and be public about it?_

 _No, that doesn't make any sense. I'm not with Marinette every minute of every day, but I'm with her enough to have a pretty clear idea of her schedule. There just isn't enough time unaccounted for for her to have been dating Adrien without my noticing_ something _. And in any case, why would Marinette_ pretend _to still be a babbling wreck in Adrien's presence if she'd actually worked up the nerve to ask him out on dates?_

 _No, those two were still where they'd always been relation-wise on Friday, I'd bet my smartphone on it. So how the hell did they manage to get from_ that _to_ this _in a single weekend? Did Ladybug kidnap them and lock them in a closet until they talked to each other, like she did for me and Nino? Why would she do that? But then again, what else could possibly explain it?_

At the front of the classroom, Miss Bustier took a deep breath. "All right, class," she said. "Now, everyone should have finished their book reports over the weekend. Pass them down to the front, please."

Alya dug in her bag for her book report, tamping down on her curiosity for the moment.

 _Marinette clearly doesn't want to talk right now, and I can't very well interrogate her during class. But when the next class break comes, I am getting to the bottom of this!_

Miss Bustier came forward and collected the book reports, then headed back behind her desk.

"All right. Now, today we will be beginning our discussion on-"

"AKUMA!"

The scream cut through the classroom like a chainsaw through butter. Everyone leapt to their feet. Most bolted for the exits. For a moment, Alya scanned the room frantically, looking for the new villain even as she whipped her smartphone from her pocket with practiced ease. And then, just as the ear-splitting shriek of the fire alarm rang out, she saw it.

Chloe Bourgeois was still in her chair, back now ramrod straight and a glowing pink butterfly mask in front of her face.


	5. Chapter 5

The entire school was in chaos. Streams of students poured towards the exits, splitting and recombining as they passed through stairwells and other chokepoints. In all that chaos, it was easy for Marinette to simply duck sideways into a classroom.

"Tikki, spots on!" she shouted. She could barely hear her own voice above the din, but apparently her kwami could still hear her well enough, because the familiar rush of the transformation surged through her. She opened her eyes just in time to see Cat Noir appear at her side in a flash of green lightning.

She glanced around for a moment. Both the doors were still blocked off by crowds of hurrying students. If they tried to go out in that, they'd be so crowded they'd be almost helpless. Instead, her yo-yo whipped out and smashed through one of the windows. She burst into a run and leapt _through_ the window, trusting in her suit to protect her from the jagged shards of glass. She crashed through the window and tumbled out to land in a crouch on a strip of grassy lawn. In front of her, the students that had already made it out the exits on that side of the building burst into cheers.

She rolled quickly to the side, and a moment later her partner dropped down where she had just been, landing in a very feline four-legged crouch.

"So," he commented, straightening up. "What do you think we're dealing with? _Antibug 2: Electric Boogaloo_ or some new and exciting villain?"

"No idea," admitted Marinette. "Could be one, could be the other. Only one way to find out." She turned and leapt up onto the roof, Cat Noir right on her heels.

 _Best field of view up there,_ she thought. _Lets us see where Chloe's got to, and what this incarnation of her can do._

 _I hope this doesn't mean we're going to end up fighting her every day we come to school. That would get old very fast._

* * *

 _Moments earlier_

Up until the scream, Rose had thought it was going to be a good day. She'd gotten a good night's sleep, there were muffins for breakfast, the weather was nice, and best of all, Adrien and Marinette were kissing and wearing matching rings! The kiss was so adorable, and the rings so sparkly, that Rose couldn't refrain from a few squeaks of happiness and a little bouncing up and down with excitement. Of course, it was kind of a downer that Chloe had gotten so angry and attacked Marinette, and Rose had even felt a little bit sorry for Chloe when Adrien had given her that lecture. She'd looked so _broken_.

Of course, that should have put Rose on high alert. Chloe had looked _exactly_ the way Rose had felt when Chloe had torn up her letter to Prince Ali, and she knew perfectly well where that had gone, even if she couldn't remember her time as Princess Fragrance. She wished she did sometimes, just a bit. Not that she wanted to remember trying to mind-control Prince Ali with her evil perfume, but the way it had apparently made everyone under its influence sing sounded so _adorable!_

But she hadn't made the connection, not until Sabrina had screamed "AKUMA!" At which point she and Juleka bolted for the rear door. They'd made it out into the hallway, and Juleka had promptly pulled the fire alarm. Which was really clever, since it was really the only way to get the entire school evacuated in a hurry, but it was also really _loud._ Which of course it had to be to do its job, so Rose supposed she couldn't really complain. She did put her hands over her ears, though.

"ADRIKINS!" Even with the racket of the fire alarm and her hands over her ears, Rose could hear that shriek. "WHERE ARE YOU, ADRIKINS!? YOUR BABYDOLL IS LOOKING FOR YOU!" Rose twisted around to take a look just as the classroom door burst open and the akuma stormed out.

Babydoll, which was apparently what the akuma was calling herself, reminded Rose of nothing so much as a Chloe Barbie. She was somewhat taller than Chloe and unnaturally slender: wasp-waisted and with stick-thin arms and legs. Her skin was hard and smooth and shiny, like plastic, and her hair seemed to be of a piece with her head. Her clothes were unaltered, save for having shifted shape a bit to fit her new proportions. And perhaps creepiest of all, her eyes looked like they'd been painted onto her face. They were flat and blank and unblinking, and didn't seem to move to let her see different things in her field of view.

The akuma's head tilted back and forth as if it were surveying the rapidly evacuating crowd, then its plastic lips quirked in a little smile and it leapt, soaring in a huge arc through the air.

 _Oh no oh no oh no!_ thought Rose frantically as she realized where the akuma was about to land, but it was too late. The akuma landed right next to her, and Rose had just enough time to shove Juleka to safety before a plastic hand closed around her wrist and held her fast. She heard Babydoll saying something, but she couldn't make it out over the noise of the alarm. And then Babydoll's other hand tangled in her hair and twisted her head around to face Babydoll, and the akuma leaned in and pressed a kiss to Rose's own lips.

For a moment, Rose felt an odd cold numbness radiating out from where the akuma's lips met hers, and then she knew no more.

* * *

 _Shit_ , thought Cat Noir. He and his Lady had made it to the overlook over the inner courtyard just in time to see Chloe's akumatized form force a kiss on Rose. A wave of transformation seemed to wash over Rose from that kiss. Her skin grew hard and smooth and shiny, her hair melted into a single piece, and her eyes grew flat and blank. A moment later a second doll, this one even more recognizably Rose than the other was Chloe, stood in Chloe's arms.

 _Well, I guess that answers that question,_ thought Cat Noir as he leapt from his perch on the roof to land in the rapidly-emptying courtyard. His Lady's yo-yo came whipping out to bounce off the Chloe-doll's head, and she spun to glare up at Ladybug where she still stood atop the roof.

"YOU!" she shrieked over the howl of the alarm, one hand coming up to point accusingly. Before she could do anything, Cat Noir clocked her on the side of the head with his staff, knocking her sprawling. But before he could take advantage of her brief incapacitation, the Rose-doll lunged at him. His staff whipped out and he caught the Rose-doll in mid-air, sending it flying through the air to smash into a wall.

He spun around to confront the Chloe-doll once again, and barely refrained from letting out a groan as he saw the akuma drag Alya out from under the stairs.

 _Seriously?_ he thought, before leaping forward to bring his staff down with all his might on the akuma's outstretched arm. He thought he saw the plastic of her skin crack a bit under that blow, but it failed to force her to let go of Alya. A moment later, his Lady's yo-yo wrapped around Alya's waist and pulled her up towards the roof, with the akuma holding on as if for dear life.

He was about to jump up after them when he spotted the Rose-doll running towards him out of the corner of his eye. As he turned to face it full on, his jaw dropped slightly.

 _Dear God. I guess the subsidiary dolls aren't as durable as the actual akuma._

The Rose-doll was littered with cracks where he'd smashed it into the wall. It didn't seem to have noticed, though, which somehow made its blank stare all the creepier. It lunged for him, and he leapt out of the way, then sprang up to the second floor. The Rose-doll followed suit, leaping up towards him in a single bound.

Cat Noir winced, gritted his teeth, and swung.

 _Please let Ladybug be able to fix this._

Caught once more in mid-air, the Rose doll went flying across the room to smash against the wall on the far side. Cat Noir glanced quickly up to see his Lady spinning Alya and the Chloe-doll around in circles like a hammer thrower, apparently trying to shake the Chloe doll off with centrifugal force. Unfortunately, the tactic had proved only partially successful. The Chloe-doll couldn't get close enough to kiss Alya, but she was maintaining a death-grip on the Ladyblogger's wrist.

 _Have to do something about that,_ he thought. Suiting action to thought, Cat Noir leapt up, twisting in mid-air to grab the edge of the roof and flip himself up. A quick glance down showed him that the Rose-doll was even worse hurt than before. Not only were there a lot more cracks visible, but several chunks of Rose-colored plastic, a couple of them disturbingly large, were lying inanimate on the ground near the far wall. The Rose-doll itself continued to mostly ignore its injuries, though a couple of the missing pieces seemed to be slowing it down. In particular, it seemed to be missing part of one of its feet, which was giving it a definite limp.

 _Hopefully it won't be able to get up here when it's that broken. And hopefully Ladybug will be able to fix that._

He turned to the other roof section, where Ladybug was still spinning Alya and Chloe in circles.

"Batter up!" he shouted, and as the Chloe-doll came whistling by again, he swung with his staff as hard as he could. That finally proved enough to dislodge the akuma, sending it flying back into the now-empty courtyard. Marinette let her spin lapse a tad, causing Alya to skid across part of the roof before coming to a halt. Adrien saw Marinette wince, and a moment later winced himself as he spotted bloody scrapes on Alya's hands and legs.

But there was no time for recriminations, as the Chloe-doll came leaping up out of the courtyard to land next to Ladybug on the roof. Ladybug's yo-yo was still tangled around Alya, it would take her a moment to get it back, and the akuma was right on top of her…

Cat Noir leapt across the corner of the courtyard and hit the akuma with all the force of his leap and his staff, sending her sprawling on the rooftop. He dived into a roll and came up on his feet, with the akuma between him and Marinette. Behind Marinette, he could see Alya crouched on the roof, phone in her hands. Ladybug had just retrieved her yo-yo and promptly launched it up in the air with a shout of "Lucky Charm!"

Cat Noir hurled himself forward, attacking the akuma in a flurry of staff-blows.

 _Need to keep the akuma busy until Marinette gets the Charm and figures out what she's supposed to do with it,_ he thought.

 _Speaking of which – leg sweep – what's the akuma hiding in? Chloe doesn't – Jump, blow to head – have anything in her hands, and – duck, side kick, backflip – she isn't wearing any new jewelry. I'm pretty sure it was my rejection that akumatized her, which – charge, go low, bodyslam, whoa-get-out-of-there, Ok-that-was-way-too-close, blow to head – doesn't help much._

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the Rose-doll pulling itself up onto the roof. "Look out, Milady!" he shouted, quickly pointing. He saw his Lady's eyes whip around in the correct direction before he was forced to turn all his attention back to fending off the Chloe-doll's attacks.

 _Ok, the akuma's almost got to be in either – block, block, dodge, blow to body - her clothes or her necklace, everything else seems to be a part of this form's body, even her sunglasses. Clothes don't make any sense, but I think the necklace – duck, OW!, cartwheel – was from her mother before she disappeared. Akuma – jab, retract staff – might bond to it if she was feeling abandoned again._

"Ladybug!" he shouted, "I think the akuma's in her necklace!"

* * *

 _A few moments earlier_

They were finally at close-quarters with the akuma, it was distracted and wasn't holding onto anyone, her partner was on hand to keep it busy, and her yo-yo was free. Marinette wasn't going to get a better chance than this one.

"Lucky Charm!" she shouted, tossing the yo-yo upwards. A surge of energy shot down her arm and up the string, and the disk of the yo-yo began to spin rapidly, throwing off the familiar sparks of light in every shade from red to pink to white. All those sparks came together in a flash, and Ladybug raised her hand to catch…

 _A fishhook? What do I do with a fishhook?_

"Look out, Milady!" Her eyes leapt to her partner, then followed his outstretched hand to see the Rose-doll pull itself up onto the roof, stagger to its feet, and come limping towards her and Alya.

 _First things first,_ she thought. She spun her yo-yo a couple of times, then lashed out, wrapping the Rose-doll up in the unbreakable cord.

 _Now what?_ she thought. _As cracked as she is, one more good hit or drop would probably smash her to bits. I'll have to land her on something soft._ Then she heard Adrien shout, "Ladybug! I think the akuma's in her necklace."

 _Ok, necklace, fishhook, what do those have to do with…_

The solution seemed to flash across her vision. _Of course!_ _Ok, I need to be over_ there _, and I need my yo-yo. Which means I need to do something about the Rose-doll._

"Just keep the akuma busy for another minute or so!" she called back. "Almost got this!"

With a quick yank, she sent the Rose-doll flying past her and off the roof. A perfectly-timed twitch of the yo-yo caused it to come undone from around the Rose-doll, sending the doll plummeting (hopefully) onto the soft grass below, and sending the yo-yo back into her hand. A quick toss looped the yo-yo around a handy chimney (or something of the sort), and she leapt up and out. The pull from her string turned her jump into a loop, and she landed on the same roof once again. Only now she was behind the akuma. Adrien shot her a quick grin, and continued to press the akuma with a masterful chain of staff blows.

Marinette quickly slipped the ring of the yo-yo cord off her finger and twisted the shank of her Lucky Charm fishhook around the ring. A couple of tugs confirmed that the hook was securely attached.

 _Perfect,_ thought Marinette. _Now, let's go fishing._

She carefully played some line out from the yo-yo, then began to spin the hook-tipped line above her head. Long practice with the yo-yo made it easy to send the hook exactly where she wanted it, and she snagged the akuma's necklace on the hook and _yanked._

The akuma let out a startled shriek as the necklace snapped and fell from her neck. Before she could grab it, Cat Noir caught it on the tip of his staff and flicked it across the roof between the Chloe-doll's legs. Marinette brought her yo-yo down like a hammer, smashing the central sphere. Marinette jammed the yo-yo's ring back on her finger (trying to ignore the pressure from the shank of the fishhook against her finger), even as the akuma peeled out of the broken sphere and tried to flutter away.

"No more evildoing for you, little akuma," murmured Marinette as she drew her finger along the top of her yo-yo. The case obligingly split open, and she began to spin it around to build up momentum.

"Time to de-evilize!" she shouted as she let the yo-yo fly, snatching the akuma out of the air. The top snapped shut, and the yo-yo flew back and smacked into her palm. She felt the pulse of purifying energy leap from her earrings through her body and into the yo-yo. "Gotcha!" she crowed.

"By-by, little butterfly!" she said cheerfully as she tapped the top of the case. It split open again, and the now-purified butterfly fluttered away to… wherever they went. She hoped it wasn't back to Hawkmoth.

 _And now for the moment of truth,_ she thought as she untwisted the fishhook from the yo-yo's ring.

"Miraculous Ladybug!" she shouted, tossing the fishhook up in the air. It split apart into a dozen swarms of glittering ladybugs which shot this way and that. With a quick sigh of mental relief, Marinette saw one swirl around Alya, leaving behind healthy cinnamon skin where there had been bleeding scrapes earlier. Marinette had been just a little afraid that something as…mundane… as skinned hands and knees wouldn't catch the attention of the Ladybug magic.

A roiling wave of black-and-purple energy washed over the Chloe-doll, leaving behind the normal Chloe Bourgeois. Adrien dodged around the bewildered-looking Chloe and approached Marinette. He raised his eyebrows and puckered his lips slightly.

Marinette was tempted for a moment, but shook her head and then tilted her head towards where Alya crouched behind a chimney, smartphone in hand. Cat Noir smiled and nodded his head slightly. His fist came up, and Marinette's met it in mid-air.

"Pound it!" they chorused.

But despite her external jubilation, Marinette was still on edge.

 _Ok, no sign of an akuma so far, but it might take longer than this for Chloe to recall that Adrien and I are dating and for the akuma to get here._

 _If an akuma does show up, I'll need to recharge in a hurry. I've got cookies in my lunch, but I'd need to figure out a way to get to that. If we have any real length of time, I'll be fine. As soon as the alarm dies down and we go back in, Tikki can sneak into my backpack to get at the cookies. But Antibug proved that one akuma can come within minutes of another being defeated. If that happens, we're in trouble. Be very hard to sneak in without someone noticing._

As if to underline her worries, her earrings gave one of their warning beeps.

"What am I at?" she murmured to Cat Noir. She'd known herself to miss one of the beeps in the heat of battle, and had almost gotten exposed a time or two. And unlike with Adrien's ring, she couldn't see her earrings.

"Four spots," he murmured back. "Still time."

"Ladybug!"

 _Oh right, got Alya on my case too. In both my identities now. God Almighty, please watch over me. I'll need it._


	6. Chapter 6

_This never stops being awesome!_ thought Alya as she scrambled across the roof, phone outstretched. The footage she'd already gotten would nicely make up for the Foxfire disaster, and now there was a chance to get an actual interview with Ladybug, even if it would have to be a bit rushed.

"Ladybug, anything you want to say to your fans?" she asked.

Ladybug glanced at the phone. "Yes," she said with a little smile. "I'd like to say how grateful I am to have the support of the people of Paris, and how grateful I am to have Cat Noir as my partner."

"Aw, you flatter me, Milady," said Cat Noir from off to the side. "If you'll ex- _claws_ me, I'll just duck out for a moment. Got to take our un- _fur-_ tunate guest down, after all."

He sauntered over to Chloe, who was still looking somewhat dazed, and grabbed her around the waist. Chloe let out a squawk of astonishment as Cat Noir lifted her off the ground like a parcel and leapt from the roof.

Alya turned back to Ladybug, and winced at the look in Ladybug's eyes.

"I would _also_ like to say," said Ladybug, smile now replaced with a hard glare, "that while Cat Noir and I will do our best to protect you from Hawkmoth, or any other threat that may rear its head, we _do not appreciate_ your making our job harder by taking stupid risks."

"Uh…" Alya had no idea what to say to that. Perhaps fortunately, the moment was broken by a warning trill from Ladybug's earrings.

"Ah, I'll need to bug out soon," said Ladybug. "Any questions before I go?"

"Actually, yes," said Alya, quickly seizing on the question she'd thought up moments ago. "Any idea why it was that Chloe Bourgeois is the first person since Stoneheart to be re-akumatized?"

"I don't really know," admitted Ladybug slowly, after a moment's thought. "But if I had to guess, I would put it down to simple probability. Most people very rarely suffer from the kind of negative emotions that make them vulnerable to Hawkmoth's akumas, and even when they do, it may happen that Hawkmoth is not in a position to send out an akuma, or has some other target he prefers. So it's not likely that the same person will attract Hawkmoth's attention twice in rapid succession. But on the other hand, it's not surprising that _someone_ would attract Hawkmoth's attention twice, given enough time."

They were interrupted by Cat Noir landing next to Ladybug with a thud. "Package delivered, Milady," he said with a small bow.

"Either way," finished Ladybug more quickly, "I don't think there was anything special about Chloe Bourgeois. She just happened to be the first person to fall into despair at the wrong time twice. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really do need to be going. I can give you a ride down, though."

"Thank you, Ladybug!" said Alya cheerfully. It was looking to be a good day for the Ladyblog.

She had just a moment to see a rather disturbing smirk on Ladybug's face before the superheroine wrapped an arm around her, tossed out her yo-yo string, and leapt from the roof.

This wasn't the first time Alya had hitched a ride with Ladybug, but in the past Ladybug had usually landed before letting go. This time, Ladybug's arc didn't touch the ground. Instead, she released Alya in midair, sending her flying into something soft…

"WHOOF!... Oh… uh… Hi, babe."

… which turned out to be Nino.

 _Good aim,_ thought Alya bemusedly.

* * *

Marinette swooped through the air, Cat Noir right behind her. They flew over the sea of students gathered outside the school, and the fire trucks which were just pulling up in response to the alarm, and landed on a rooftop on the far side of the road. A quick glance over the parapet showed the alley on the far side of the building to be mostly deserted, so Ladybug leapt down and tucked herself into a convenient nook, with Cat Noir squeezing in beside her.

"Ok," said Marinette, "If anyone asks, we ran back here to hide from the akuma, and got distracted kissing. Sound good?"

"Sounds good," said Cat Noir with a broad grin. "Especially the kissing part."

Marinette smiled. "Tikki, spots off," she said. The energy of the transformation poured out of her, and Tikki dropped into her hands. Marinette could kind of sympathize with her kwami. She always felt exhausted for a few minutes right after dropping the transformation, until she adjusted back to a normal human body. She quickly tucked Tikki into her purse, watched the little god snuggle into the handkerchief Marinette kept there for that exact purpose, and turned her head up just in time to intercept Adrien's descending lips.

All too soon, Adrien broke the kiss and murmured in her ear, "Not that kissing you isn't fun, Milady, but we're going to need to get our story straight before we go back. You know Alya's not going to let up, and the others will be asking questions as well."

"Aw," said Marinette, curling her lip in a pout. But she knew perfectly well that Adrien was right.

"So…" she said, "Any ideas?"

"Probably best to stick as closely as possible to the truth," said Adrien. "We'll say I'd had a bit of a crush on you for a while, but didn't know how to bring it up. Yesterday, we happened to be together… why would we happen to be together?"

"Maybe we were visiting the same park?" Marinette said tentatively.

"That works," replied Adrien with a nod. "I really did do a photoshoot in a park yesterday afternoon, so that will hold up to a casual investigation. So we were in the same park, got to chatting, and I accidentally mentioned something that led you to realize that I had some feelings for you. That let you work up the nerve to actually act on your crush, one thing led to another, and…" He trailed off and leaned down for another kiss.

Some indeterminate time later, the faint sound of the fire alarm in the distance cut out. Adrien murmured in her ear, "Milady, we need to go. Students will be going back to class. The last thing either of us needs is any _more_ absences."

"You're right," admitted Marinette. She rose to her feet and took Adrien's hand in hers, feeling the smooth metal of the gold ring under her fingers...

She glanced down at her free hand, suddenly aware again of the corresponding weight of her own ring.

"Huh," she said in a low voice as the two made for the mouth of the alley. "I just now realized that I wasn't wearing this when I was transformed." She wiggled the fingers of her left hand to make it clearer what she was talking about. "Guess the magic treats it the same way it treats the rest of our clothes."

"Probably a good thing, if you want to keep that part of our relationship a secret," said Adrien. "You know Alya would spot it in half a heartbeat if we were wearing the rings transformed, and that would be just as bad as if I'd sent her the kiss picture. Not to mention that if she saw you and Ladybug wearing two identical rings, it would be one more clue to who we are."

They rounded the corner of the building, and saw the students disappearing back into the school. They switched to a rapid trot and soon had caught up with the tail end of the student populace.

"Wonder if anyone even noticed we were missing?" asked Adrien wryly as they slipped back through the doors.

* * *

As it turned out, the answer to that question was "Yes". Marinette and Adrien were the last two in their class to get back, and no sooner had Adrien slid into his seat than Nino leaned over and whispered "Dude, where'd you and Marinette go?" in his ear.

Adrien called up a light blush and a slightly sheepish expression, thankful yet again for years of training in making his face say precisely and only what he wanted it to say. "Well, we ran away and hid, and we hid in the same place. So we got kind of... distracted. Nearly missed the alarm cutting out."

Nino snickered. "You're going to need to get a handle on this thing with Marinette pronto, you know."

"This _is_ our first day back at school since we got together," retorted Adrien. "Give us some time to get our balance back, ok?"

"Ok, ok," said Nino defensively.

"Alright, class," said Miss Bustier. "Now that we are all back, let's begin our discussion on..."

Adrien set part of his mind to absorbing Miss Bustier's words and then sneaked a peak across the aisle.

 _I can't let myself make the same mistake twice. Bad enough that it happened once. I of all people should have remembered how_ brittle _Chloe can be if hit in the wrong way. There must have been a better way to break the news that Marinette and I are together now, a way that wouldn't have pushed Chloe into Hawkmoth's arms. But I was so giddy about finally having caught my Lady's eye, and then so furious at Chloe for threatening Ladybug, that I forgot to be gentle to her._

 _Well, I'll just have to pay more attention and be more careful from here on out._

Chloe still looked distinctly dazed, as if the shock of akumatization had yet to wear off. Her posture was remarkably neutral, neither slumped back nor leaning forward, nor really sitting up straight. She was just... sitting. And though Adrien couldn't really tell from this angle, he thought her eyes seemed out of focus, as though she wasn't actually looking at anything.

 _I suppose that's good. Bemused is better than furious or despondent, at least. But it's still odd. The Ladybug magic always leaves an akuma victim a bit befuddled when they first wake up and they don't know how they got where they are or where their fury went, but it usually wears off pretty quickly. Chloe actually seems to be going deeper. I wonder what's causing that? I'll have to ask Ladybug and her kwami, whatever her name was, tonight. Maybe one of them knows. And if neither of them knows, then I can pretty much rule out the Ladybug magic being involved, which will be a big help._

 _Either way, nothing I can do about it now._

* * *

"I'd better go back to the mansion for lunch," murmured Adrien in Marinette's ear as they headed out of the classroom. "Natalie and Father would freak out if I didn't. And... it's not that I'm ashamed of you or anything, but I really don't feel up to telling them about us right now. Not after the morning we've had."

"I feel the same way," admitted Marinette quietly. "I wonder what it says about me that I'm more scared of your dad than of..." She made a quick butterfly gesture.

Adrien smiled. "I'd say that shows good sense."

Marinette decided she'd rather laugh at that than wince.

For a moment, she considered heading home for lunch herself. But a quick glance over her shoulder showed Alya and Nino dogging her footsteps like wolves waiting for a deer to drift from the protection of the herd. She'd never make it back home before they caught her. Not to mention that going home for lunch would only invite a similar interrogation from her parents. With a mental sigh, Marinette resigned herself to a lunch-long interrogation from her best friend.

And sure enough, no sooner had she seen Adrien off and kissed him goodbye at the school doors than Marinette felt someone grab her shoulder.

"Hi, Alya," she said without bothering to look back.

"Come on, girl," said Alya. "You've got some explaining to do."

Marinette rolled her eyes, but permitted herself to be shepherded to the cafeteria. Marinette filled her plate with spaghetti with meat sauce, a couple of slices of cafeteria garlic bread (not a patch on what her parents made, but not bad even so), and a basic salad. She permitted herself a brief mental sigh of regret for the bag of Dupain-Cheng cookies she'd tucked into her backpack, which now held only crumbs. But such were the sacrifices being a hero demanded.

"Seriously, girl," remarked Alya, "How do you eat that much spaghetti without ending up as round as a beach ball?"

Marinette rolled her eyes. This wasn't the first or even the tenth time Alya had made that observation in recent months. Ladybugging burnt a lot of calories, and Marinette enjoyed being able to eat as much as she liked. "Some people have active metabolisms and get plenty of exercise," she replied.

"Exercise, eh?" said Alya with a smirk. "Is that what you're calling it, then?"

Marinette felt her cheeks blush red. "Seriously, Alya? Do you think Adrien would do _that_ to me? Adrien?"

"He's a boy, Marinette," said Alya. "Boys always want to get between our legs."

"Hey!" protested Nino.

Alya shot him a look. "Do I need to tell Marinette _exactly_ how we got together?"

Nino's complexion hid his blush a lot better than Marinette's, but not quite well enough. "Shutting up now," he muttered.

"So," Alya said as they settled down into their seats. "If you and model-boy haven't done the deed yet, what have you done? I want some deets, girl!"

"Well…" said Marinette, drawing it out a bit. "We've kissed a bunch of times, and there was some tongue, but that's about it." She let a little smirk settle on her face. "I _have_ told him I'm not ready to get married just yet."

Alya blinked. "Really? After all those plans you've told me about, suddenly you're not interested in getting married?"

"Alya, I'm fourteen," said Marinette flatly. "I'm pretty sure it's not even _legal_ to get married until you're eighteen."

"Who's getting married?" asked Alix as she plopped a tray down next to Marinette. "Oh, and congrats on finally getting your act together, Marinette," she said. "It'll be nice not to have to deal with that _tension_ all the time."

"Oh, I wouldn't be so relieved just yet," said Alya. "Marinette's the sappiest romantic you've ever seen, and from what Nino says Adrien is just as bad. The two of them together? They'll be so sickeningly adorable it'll give you diabetes."

Marinette bent low over her spaghetti to hide her burning face.

"I am pleased to see you are all here," came Max's voice. "Based on the information I had access to before this morning, I would estimate there was less than a .342% chance that Marinette and Adrien would have become romantically involved during the past sixty-eight hours. As they clearly did become romantically involved sometime during that time period, I can only conclude that either something immensely improbable occurred, or there was some factor involved of which I did not know. I am curious as to what it might have been."

Marinette almost faceplanted in her spaghetti. Fortunately, she remembered in time that this would result in getting sauce all over her face, and settled for a tortured groan.

"Seriously?" she said, looking up. In addition to Max and Alix, they'd also been joined by Rose, Juleka, Ivan, and Mylene. "Don't you think this is a little over-the-top? I mean, we didn't all gang up on Ivan and Mylene like this when _they_ got together."

"Sorry," said Ivan, getting to his feet and picking up his tray. "I just sat here because all the rest of the class seemed to be doing it. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He moved over to the next table, followed by Mylene.

Rose blushed. "But the ring Adrien gave you was so _sparkly_!" she chirped. "I just wanted to take a closer look at it. Can I see it, please?"

Marinette sighed slightly, but you couldn't really refuse a request from Rose. It was like kicking a kitten. She raised one hand, fingers spread to show off her ring. Rose gently took her hand and ran her fingers over the ring, a look of awe on her face. Juleka ducked even further behind her hair than usual and murmured something Marinette couldn't catch.

"Oh my," Rose said in a soft voice. "That's a real emerald, and at least seven-fifty fine gold. Adrien must have spent a lot of money on this. Especially if his is a match for this one."

"It is," Marinette confirmed. "Not sure how much they cost, though. Didn't ask."

"And again I ask, what the _hell_ happened over the weekend?" said Alya insistently as Kim took up the seat Ivan had vacated. "How did you manage to go from being a babbling wreck in Adrien's presence to getting expensive jewelry and _kissing_ him in just two days?"

Marinette did her best to keep her voice casual. "Honestly, it wasn't anything that dramatic. He and I ended up in the same park yesterday afternoon, we got to talking – and _yes,_ Alya, I _am_ actually capable of talking to Adrien these days – and one thing kind of led to another. It turns out he'd been falling for me for a bit now himself, he just hadn't known what to do about it any more than I did. That's where the rings come from, he'd bought them a while back and been carrying them around ever since."

Alya groaned. "That's _it_? You just finally worked up the nerve to _talk_ to him? After all that fuss, I was expecting something with akumas and tidal waves and breathless near-death experiences!"

"And you say _I_ have a crazy imagination," Marinette deadpanned.

"Well," said Kim, "On behalf of all the boys in Paris whose potential girlfriends were crushing on Adrien Agreste, allow me to say, 'Congratulations and we wish you all the best'."

Marinette paused for a moment to parse that statement. "Thank you, I guess," she said.

"Ooh, can I help plan your wedding?" asked Rose. The slender blonde was practically vibrating with excitement, her large blue eyes sparkling.

Marinette threw her hands up in exasperation. "What is _with_ you people?" she asked rhetorically. "I'm _fourteen_. I don't think you even _can_ get married until you're eighteen."

"Actually," interjected Max, "while French law states that the minimum age of marriage _as a right_ is eighteen, it also provides for marriage where one or both parties is under that age. The underage party or parties must secure permission from a court and from both parents, but there is no minimum age limit as such."

"Ok, so Adrien and I could get married early if I got my parents, Adrien's dad, and a court official to agree to it," said Marinette. "Still not going to happen. I don't think my parents would approve of me getting married this young, I _really_ don't think Adrien's dad would, and there's no way Mayor Bourgeois would let the courts grant a special dispensation for anyone other than Chloe to marry Adrien. And the whole point's moot, because like I _told_ Adrien, I don't _want_ to get married just yet, not until I'm ready for it!"

"But when you _do_ get married, can I help plan the wedding?" asked Rose hopefully.

"Of course you can," said Marinette, trying for a more gentle tone.

"Yay!" squealed Rose. "Ok, Alya, you can be the maid of honor, and Nino will be the best man… Nino, do you think you can be the best man _and_ DJ the reception?"

"Uh… I think so," said Nino. "What exactly does the best man do?"

"Stands next to the groom, looks handsome, and then gives a speech embarrassing the groom to within an inch of his life at the reception," said Alya, ticking the points off on her fingers. "Speech usually comes at the end of dinner, before the dancing starts, so you should be good there."

Juleka murmured something.

"Don't worry, Alya," said Rose. "I'm sure that won't happen. Plus you could always marry him first."

"Wait, _what?_ " asked Alya, looking utterly taken aback.

"I said, 'Theoretically, the best man is also supposed to marry the bride if the groom is unable or unwilling to fulfill his duties'," repeated Juleka in a slightly louder monotone.

There was a long moment of utter silence at the table.

 _Is that what I used to look like whenever Alya would tease me about Adrien?_ wondered Marinette as she tried not to giggle at the look on Nino's face.

"Anyway," said Rose just a shade too cheerfully, "we'll also need bridesmaids. Marinette, can Juleka and I be bridesmaids?"

"Um… maybe?" said Marinette. "I feel like we should wait until a little closer to the actual wedding to decide that. If nothing else, I've got a lot of cousins and I'm not sure which ones are going to want to be part of the wedding. And besides, who knows what the future will bring? Maybe in four or five years you'll be the Princess of Achu and too busy to come all the way back to Paris for a wedding."

Rose blushed adorably. "Good point," she admitted. "Ok, I'll put some thought into it. Does anybody know if the bride is allowed to sew her own wedding dress, or is that bad luck?"

 _I wonder if Adrien knew this was coming, and that's why he went to the mansion for lunch?_ thought Marinette as the conversation started up again around her. _He's a clever kitty, he could have figured it out. I wish I'd figured it out. I might have gone back home for lunch instead. Telling Mom and Dad wouldn't have been much worse than this, and I'll have to do it eventually._

 _Maybe not this evening, though. I think I've been embarrassed enough for one day._


	7. Chapter 7

"Miraculous Ladybug!" Marinette shouted, tossing the red-and-black-spotted fire hose up into the air, where it broke apart into a dozen swarms of sparkly magic ladybugs.

Cat Noir let out a purr of relief as one of them surrounded him. Their Miraculous suits had proven as effective at protecting them from boiling coffee as from anything else, but Caffeinator had gotten both of them in the face more than once. The ladybug swarm flowed over him, painful blisters and burns fading to cool relief in their wake, and then they were gone again to join their fellows, lapping up the steaming lakes of coffee all over the streets like a cat lapping up a saucer of cream.

Cat Noir turned to face his Lady, fist already coming up to meet hers.

"Pound it!" they chorused. Then Ladybug's earrings chimed their second warning, and she winced as she flipped open her yo-yo to glance at the screen.

"We're going to be late for school, __again__ ," she said ruefully.

Cat Noir smirked. "I have a __feline__ that was a foregone conclusion, Milady," he said cheerfully. "When an akuma shows up barely ten minutes before school starts, it's almost im- _ _paw-__ sible for us to beat it fast enough to make the deadline."

Ladybug groaned, but before she could say anything, she was interrupted by a shout of "Ladybug!"

Marinette let out a faint sigh and turned to face Alya. "Sorry," she said, "no time for interviews today. Bug out!" She turned and leapt up onto the nearest roof.

"Where my Lady goes, I must follow," said Cat Noir with an overly elaborate bow. "Until we meet again, Madam Ladyblogger." And suiting action to word, he leapt up after Marinette.

"I must say," he commented as he caught up to her, "this does make a nice change from before. No need to split up to detransform, or hide which way we're going from each other."

She smiled at him. "I certainly agree," she said. "Though I suspect the new __status quo__ is going to have its own set of problems. You __know__ what the class is going to think when we come in together."

"Of course I do," he shot back. "Which might be no bad thing. At least if they think we got delayed because we were __purr__ -essing lips, they'll be less likely to suspect what we were __actually__ doing together."

To his side, his Lady blushed red. He grinned __cheese__ -ily, but then felt his face fall as a new thought flashed across his mind. "On second thought, we __might__ have a problem there. I don't know if Chloe's quite got used to the idea that you and I are together now. I'll do my best not to push her too hard this time, but she may snap again anyway. Do you have anything on you for your kwami? I've got some camembert I can sneak mine before we go in."

Ladybug winced. "No, I don't. I try to bring cookies to school nowadays, for that exact reason, but I was in such a hurry this time I forgot to grab them. I suppose I'm lucky I remembered to grab my schoolwork before running out."

"Ok," he said. "If Chloe gets akumatized again, I'll transform and stall her while you go cookie-hunting. There might be some in the cafeteria someplace, or you can sneak back to your parents' if necessary."

"Sounds like a plan," she said, shooting him a quick smile. The two of them leapt from the last building into the park and dove into the shrubbery. A few moments later, a slightly mussed-looking Adrien and Marinette emerged from the bushes and made a dash for the school across the road. In the pocket of Adrien's shirt, a tiny deity curled up, savoring the Camembert wedge in his belly.

* * *

 _ _Here we go…__

Marinette cracked open the door and slipped into the room, nerves as tense as if she were Ladybug facing a new akuma.

 _ _In fact, I think I'd prefer a new akuma. Akumas I can do something about.__

Miss Bustier paused in the middle of what must have been her lecture as Marinette and Adrien entered the room. Her mouth opened as if to say something, but then she paused, shook her head, and resumed her lecture. Marinette blushed, ducked her head, and slipped quietly into her seat.

A few minutes later, the door opened again and Alya slipped in. Miss Bustier didn't even pause her lecture, merely shooting Alya a glance as the latter quietly slipped into her seat.

"What'd I miss?" Alya whispered to Marinette.

"Not too much," replied Marinette. "She's just getting started on the symbolism of The One Ring."

Alya nodded and dug out her textbook.

"Where __were__ you?" Marinette added. She knew perfectly well where Alya had been, of course, but Marinette would have no way of knowing that Alya had been covering an akuma attack.

"Akuma attack," Alya whispered back. "I'll tell you more at the break."

Marinette let out an inner breath of relief and took the opportunity to survey the room.

 _ _Ok, Chloe seems to be back to normal. Proud, disdainful, and self-centered, but not furious or distraught that Adrien and I are… Oh dear Lord. Is that… yep, that's a new ring on her hand. Set with an emerald. And she's wearing it on the same finger I'm wearing mine on.__

 _ _Well, that's not good. Clearly, she's going to try and make another play for Adrien. Lord, please help me to be firm but gentle with her when she does. I don't want to push her back into akumatization, but I'm not giving up Adrien now that I have him.__

* * *

"Adrikins!"

Adrien winced internally at the sound of Chloe's voice. He'd noticed the ring on her finger, and he was fairly sure he knew what it meant.

"Hello, Chloe," he said, selecting a friendly-but-not-too-friendly smile.

"Look, Adrien!" she squealed, shoving her new ring in his face and grabbing for his ring hand. "See, you got a ring that matches my eyes, and now I've got a ring that matches your eyes! Isn't it just perfect!"

Adrien disengaged his hand from Chloe's grasp, and added a bit of regret and a dash of reluctance to his expression.

"That's… very nice of you, Chloe," he said carefully. He swiftly decided not to remind Chloe that the ring was actually picked to match __Marinette's__ eyes. This was the first time this morning he'd looked Chloe full in the face, and there was something in her eyes that made him very nervous.

"I know, right?" said Chloe. "I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier."

"Seriously, Chloe, didn't you hear Adrien yesterday?" Alya said from behind him. "That ring's to match __Marinette's__ eyes, not yours!"

 _ _Uh oh,__ thought Adrien. He wasn't sure, but he thought that he'd seen that odd look in Chloe's eyes grow briefly stronger.

"So anyway," said Chloe, "I know you don't have any photoshoots this evening, so you and I are going to the Imagine Dragons concert." She produced a pair of tickets from her purse. "Daddy got the two of us front row seats!"

 _ _Ooh Kay,__ thought Adrien, __Now how do I get out of this one? Let's see… I can't just let Chloe think I'm coming and not show up, that would be the worst option. I could claim to have some other engagement, but that… Ok, maybe if I cite needing to get my schoolwork done? It shouldn't push any of Chloe's buttons further, and it's close enough to true that she probably won't realize I'm shading the truth.__

"Sorry, Chloe," he said out loud, meeting her gaze full-on. "I'm going to be busy tonight. I have a lot of physics homework that needs doing, and I need to get started on the history paper. Maybe you could go with Kim instead, or I think Ferdinand mentioned he was looking for a date."

 _ _All technically true,__ he thought, __even if I'll probably be busy with more than just my homework tonight.__

Behind Chloe's blue eyes, Adrien saw something __shift__. "Wonderful!" she said with a just-slightly-too-large grin, dropping one of the tickets on the desk in front of him. "See you tonight!" She leaned over the desk, puckering her lips for a kiss. Adrien twisted out of the way and Chloe overbalanced and ended up sprawled across Adrien's desk.

Adrien quickly scooted sideways off the seat and jumped to his feet. __Oh no oh no oh no,__ he thought frantically. __Oh Lord Almighty, maker of heaven and earth,__ please _ _let me not have just seen what I thought I just saw.__

"Adrien, you __tease__!" said Chloe with that same just-slightly-exaggerated grin, as she levered herself to her feet and lunged towards Adrien. He turned and bolted up the stairs, Chloe in hot pursuit. As he dashed past Marinette, he saw a blur out of the corner of his eye, and then there was a tremendous crash. He froze and spun around to see Marinette lying sprawled on the stairs, with Chloe apparently trying to climb over her.

Adrien felt a stab of sheer terror, such as when he'd seen his Lady leap into the mouth of a T-rex. He leapt down the stairs, shoving Chloe off Marinette and dropping to his knees next to her.

"Marinette!" he blurted out. "Are you ok? Please be ok. Can you hear me?" His fingers slipped into her hair, feeling for blood or soft spots in her head, but then yellow-clad arms wrapped around him from behind and tried to pull him off his Lady. Cat Noir's instincts kicked in before he remembered that this wasn't an akuma battle, and he drove an elbow backward into Chloe's stomach, hard. There was a squawking noise in his ear, and Chloe's arms tightened around him.

"Careful, Adrikins," she scolded, "you could hurt somebody that way."

"Chloe, get __off__ me," snarled Adrien as Marinette groaned and sat up, rubbing her head.

"Aw, you say the sweetest things," Chloe whispered as she tried to twist his head around.

"Marinette, are you ok?" asked Adrien as he managed to wedge an arm between Chloe and himself. He tried to shove Chloe away, but she was clinging on as if for dear life. "Are you bleeding anywhere? Any dizzy spells or double vision?" He managed to get his other hand into play, pushing Chloe out to arm's length.

"Chloe!" said Sabrina worriedly. She'd gotten out of her seat and was leaning on the other side of the desk, in the center aisle. "Chloe, you need to let go of Adrien. It's almost time for class to start again."

"Oh, fine," muttered Chloe. And to everyone's surprise (including Sabrina's, judging by her expression), she promptly let go of Adrien. He almost fell over backwards, but managed to catch himself, scrambled back and jumped to his feet. Next to him, Marinette pulled herself up to her feet. And Chloe simply walked back to her seat as if nothing had happened.

Adrien quickly pulled Marinette into a tight hug. "Are you ok, Milady?" he murmured in her ear.

"Fine," she whispered back. "Just a bump on the head, nothing broken or leaking."

"Want me to kiss it all better?" he asked, allowing his relief to break out in a huge grin.

Marinette buried her face in his chest, only partially muffling a sudden spurt of giggles. This also happened to leave her head perfectly positioned for Adrien to lean down and kiss the top of her head. Which he did.

"Psst!" Alya hissed. "Eacher-Tay incoming-ay!"

Adrien gave his Lady one last squeeze before reluctantly forcing himself to let her go and dash back to his seat. He spotted the concert ticket still lying on the desk in front of him and twisted around in his seat to pass it back to Marinette.

"Would you please pass that on to Kim?" he asked. "I figured he might enjoy a date with Chloe."

Marinette shot him a quick smile before turning to pass the ticket on in her turn.

"And Alya," said Adrien, "Could you please not stream or post anything about this just yet? There's something I need to talk to you and Marinette about first."

"Ok," said Alya skeptically. "But you'd better have a pretty good reason. I know Chloe is your friend, but she is really getting close to crossing the line."

Before Adrien could respond, the door opened and Miss Bustier entered. Adrien twisted around and called up an attentive expression, but his mind was elsewhere.

 _ _This is very definitely not good. If I'm right about what just happened, then Chloe is going to need help. Serious help. And I have very little idea how to get her that help, and even less on how to get her father to agree with it. At least she seems to be stable for the moment.__

 _ _Right, "for the moment". But you'll need more than "for the moment", won't you? If you're going to explain your suspicions to Marinette and Alya, you're going to need at least a few minutes alone with them. And if Chloe is as far gone as I suspect, she'll probably try and jump me again the instant class is over.__

 _ _Still, nothing to do but risk it. She might leave me alone, there's no telling. And I may not be Lady Luck, but I'm her boyfriend. That should be good for something. Speaking of which, I wonder if Ladybug's Miracle could fix Chloe? I know it purges the negative emotions from the akuma victims, at least in the short term. Something to discuss with Marinette later.__

 _ _For now, I have to compare notes with Marinette and Alya, and figure out how to get Chloe's father to accept the situation. And of course this is happening now, right when I have just managed to gain the favor of the love of my life. I know Plagg says I don't attract bad luck, I inflict it, but there are still times when I wonder.__

* * *

After class, Marinette, Adrien, and Alya quickly made their way outside. To Adrien's relief, Chloe didn't follow.

"So, Adrien," asked Alya once they had gotten some distance from the rest of the class. "What's the deal with Chloe? Why didn't you want me to post her attacking Marinette?"

"Just for the record," said Marinette quickly, "I don't think that would be a good idea either. I don't want to be on the mayor's shit list, and I'm pretty sure that's where I'd end up if you posted that video. All he'd see was that I was making his princess look bad. And for that matter, he wouldn't be any too happy with you either."

Adrien quickly glanced around. Nobody in earshot except the two he wanted to talk to. "There's a much bigger reason than that," he said in a low voice. "I don't think Chloe actually knew what she was doing. The way she behaved… I think she might need psychological help."

"Wait, what?" said Alya in a low voice. "You're saying that wasn't just Chloe being a bitch like usual?"

"Think about it," said Adrien. "When I told Chloe that I couldn't make the concert, what would you have expected her to do?"

"I'd have expected her to scold you about spending time on your schoolwork rather than… with… her," said Marinette. Her eyes suddenly went wide. "I… see what you mean. She didn't flip out, or lecture you, or anything. She just acted like you'd agreed to the concert, and you hadn't."

"And it's not just that," said Adrien. "The rings, for example. I told her yesterday that I didn't pick my ring to match her eyes, but she talked as though she thought I had this morning. She didn't make any comment, snide or otherwise, about Marinette and I coming in together. And when we were fighting earlier, she acted as though she hadn't realized we were fighting."

Alya's mouth dropped open. "Oh. My. God," she breathed, her tone equal parts horror and awe. "She's lost it. Chole has completely lost her mind. Do you have any __idea__ what a story that will make?" Her eyes went out of focus. "I can see the story now." Her hands came up as if she were measuring out an article leader. "'Mayor Bourgeoise's daughter, driven to distraction by the pain of seeing the boy she wanted for herself choose another, finally loses her mind completely. Consumed by delusion, she…' and so on from there."

"Don't say anything about this to anyone else just yet," cautioned Adrien. "I __think__ something's wrong with Chloe, but I'm not sure. And even if I am right, we'll need a lot more proof if we're going to convince her father."

"You can say that again," said Alya with a snort. "So what's the plan?"

"I'm not sure," admitted Adrien. "I think tonight's going to be important, though. If I'm right, then when Kim shows up instead of me to the concert tonight, __something__ pretty spectacular is going to happen. Chloe might think that Kim __is__ me, or she might accuse him of stealing my ticket… granted, she might do that anyway… point is, she may do something that will give us more evidence, and another witness."

"Or she may do something even more spectacular before the day's out," said Alya. "And Adrien, I can appreciate you not wanting to drag Chloe's name through the mud under _these_ circumstances, but it's not going to work. The __entire class__ saw what just happened. Even if I don't post about it, the word's going to get out soon."

"True," replied Adrien, "but you're the Ladyblogger. You're the one with the adult audience, not to mention I'm betting you're the only one who got video footage. As long as you don't post about it, it will just be kids gossiping. That won't be too bad."

Out of the corner of his eye, Adrien saw his father's limo pull up. "In the meantime," he said, "I can go home for lunch, which should keep Chloe from doing anything until I get back. And then we'll be in class, and so far she seems able to understand that. That will get us through to this evening, which will hopefully give us further evidence."

"I think I'd better go home for lunch too," said Marinette. "We can't be sure that I won't set Chloe off, and I need to tell my parents at some point." She winced slightly. "That'll be an interesting conversation."

"Good luck," said Adrien. He gave Marinette a quick goodbye kiss, and then grabbed his backpack and headed off for the limo.


	8. Chapter 8

Adrien amused himself for the brief ride back by logging onto the Ladyblog and calling up the video of the latest akuma battle. What with all the fuss with Chloe, this was the first chance he'd gotten to see the thing, and you didn't spend years as a model without developing a keen interest in other people's depictions of you. There was more than one reason he'd been such a devotee of the Ladyblog.

As he'd more than half expected, there was only a single place set at the table. Natalie was hovering nearby, but his father was nowhere to be seen.

"Father busy?" he asked Natalie.

"Yes, Adrien," she replied.

"Will he at least be available for dinner?" asked Adrien. "There's something I need to talk to him about."

"I'll make the appointment," said Natalie with a small smile. "Is this about that new ring you're wearing?"

"Uh, yeah, actually it is," admitted Adrien. "Thank you, Natalie."

"You're welcome, Adrien," replied Natalie, before heading out of the room. "And congratulations," she added from the doorway.

* * *

By the time Adrien had finished his lunch and the Caffeinator video, lunch break wasn't even half over. He quickly got all his things in order, trotted over to the office, and poked his head in.

"Natalie?" he asked.

"Yes, Adrien?" she said, looking up from her tablet.

"I'm going to run over to Marinette's, in case my dad asks where I am. I'll be sure to be back at school on time."

"Very well. See you this evening, then," she responded with a little smirk.

"See you this evening," said Adrien, and then he turned and dashed for the door before she could change her mind.

Once outside the gate, it was the work of a moment to find a secluded niche to transform.

* * *

The bakery was packed. Even from the next roof over, Cat Noir could see the press of customers filling the shop and spilling out onto the sidewalk. Fortunately, he could also see his Lady on the balcony, enjoying lunch and doing something with her sketchpad.

 _Here goes…_

He took a few steps back, then dashed forward and leapt across the street to land atop Marinette's balcony with a thud.

Marinette jumped, nearly upending her water.

"Adrien!" she gasped. "You startled me!"

"My a- _paw_ -logies, _Purr-_ incess," said Cat Noir with a smirk, dropping into the chair across from hers. "Plagg, claws in." The familiar flash of green light obscured his vision, and he felt the heat of the transformation fade away. When his vision cleared again, Marinette leaned across the table to give him a peck on the nose.

He smiled and stretched, drinking in the sight of her busily sketching away. "So, what are you working on?" he asked after a minute, gesturing to Marinette's sketchbook.

Marinette smiled. "It's for one of your father's design contests, actually. The one with the 'The Four Seasons' theme. I've already finished Spring and I'm working on Winter, and right now I'm trying to figure out what to do for Summer. So far I'm kind of leaning towards an almost tie-dyed look, something to showcase the vibrancy and vitality of summer."

"Wait a sec," said Adrien, "You're entering dresses for all four seasons?"

"There's no rule against it," said Marinette with a cheeky smile. "And four entries means four times the chance to win something, right?"

"Yeah, but it also means four times the work," said Adrien. "Seriously, how are you finding the time to make four different dresses, go to school, fight akumas, _and_ get any sleep?"

"Same way you manage to find time to do schoolwork, model, and fight akumas," said Marinette.

"Ok, fair point…"

Adrien trailed off, his gaze suddenly drawn to the flashes of white light coming from behind the potted plant in one corner.

"What is _that_?" he asked, pointing.

Marinette twisted in her seat. "I have no idea," she admitted. "Let's find out."

They tiptoed over and leaned in for a closer look. In the corner behind the plant was a pulsing orb of brilliant white light. Adrien and Marinette both glanced back and forth from the flashing ball of light to each other a couple of times, identical expressions of bewilderment on their faces. Finally, Adrien shrugged and, before he could have an attack of common sense, quickly poked at the ball of light.

As soon as Adrien touched the orb, it exploded into twin bolts of energy. A bolt of green fire shot towards Adrien, slammed into his leg, and exploded into Plagg. The cat-kwami's pupils were hugely dilated, the tip of his tail was twitching back and forth, and he had a huge grin on his face. At the same moment, a bolt of red light shot in the opposite direction, hit the wall, and exploded into an equally smiling Tikki, who let out a string of chiming giggles.

"Oi," said Plagg, "give a kwami a little privacy, would you?" He looked as though he were trying to glare at Adrien, but he couldn't seem to suppress his grin.

"Uh… buh… wah," sputtered Marinette.

 _My sentiments exactly,_ thought Adrien. He instantly decided not to ask any further questions. There was all too great a chance Plagg might actually _answer_ them.

Suddenly, he saw Marinette's eyes go wide. "Tikki, spots on! Duck!" she barked. Adrien dropped to the balcony deck and called, "Plagg, claws out!" He heard the whir of Marinette's yo-yo as it shot through the air above him, and then the transformation hit. As soon as his vision cleared, he rolled to one side and sprang to his feet in time to see Marinette's yo-yo fly back to her hand.

"God _damn_ it!" she snarled. "I missed!"

"Missed what?" asked Cat Noir, though he suspected he knew the answer.

As if to confirm his suspicions, there was a bellow of fury and numerous shrieks of terror from the shop below them.

"Akuma," said Ladybug.

* * *

Marinette flipped over the railing and landed on the sidewalk before almost being bowled over by fleeing shoppers. More were trying to force their way out through the doors, too many bodies trying to fit through too small an opening.

Suddenly there was a bellow of pain and fury from inside, and a moment later, Officer Raincomprix came flying out through the window, landing in the middle of the street in a mess of blood, shattered glass, and smashed display pastries.

Marinette dashed over to him. "Are you alright, Sir?" she asked, extending a hand to help him up.

"I'll be fine, it looks worse than it is," he said, staggering to his feet and limping over to the sidewalk. "You take care of that akuma."

Marinette turned to get her first look inside the shop. The akuma was shaped something like a hugely obese boy, albeit one taller and broader than her father. Its skin was the color of bread dough, and its mouth had swollen to impossible dimensions, stretching from almost literally from ear to ear. It was rubbing at its piggy little eyes with one flabby arm when Marinette first got a look at it, but even as she watched it turned to one of the display tables and began to shovel bread and stand alike into its maw.

Before Marinette could figure out what to do next, Cat Noir leapt through the broken window and smacked the akuma in the rear with his staff. The akuma bellowed and spun around, one pudgy hand grabbing for Cat Noir. Adrien ducked under the grasping fist and jabbed the akuma in the belly with the end of his staff before backflipping out onto the street. The akuma glared at him for a moment and then snarled "GO AWAY! DOUGHBOY WANT EAT!" before turning to smash open one of the display cases and starting to shovel the food within into its gaping mouth, along with quite a lot of broken glass.

"Any idea what the akuma might be hiding in?" asked Marinette. She bounced her yo-yo off the back of Doughboy's head, and it yelped and spun around to glare at her.

"No idea," said Cat Noir. "Nothing seemed particularly out of place. Maybe…"

At that point Doughboy grabbed an empty table and threw it at Marinette, with another yell of "GO AWAY!". She leapt over it and it smashed through the front window of the store on the opposite side of the street. The akuma turned around, but before it could go back to gorging, Cat Noir charged into the wrecked bakery and smacked it in the rear again. It spun around yet again, and swiped at Cat Noir, who ducked under Doughboy's grasping fingers and jabbed at its eye with the end of his staff. The staff ended up hitting Doughboy in the nose, prompting it to let out another bellow of anger. This time, when Cat Noir rolled to his feet and sprang out into the street, Doughboy lumbered out after him. Marinette darted one way, bopping Doughboy in the head with her yo-yo. It turned to chase her, at which point Adrien darted in and smacked it in the rear for a third time. It spun around again and went lumbering after Cat Noir, who dashed off down the street.

In the distance, past Doughboy and Cat Noir, Marinette saw Alya round a corner and skid to a halt, phone already up and recording.

Cat Noir skidded to a halt and planted his staff like a pikeman bracing for a cavalry charge. It elongated, and Doughboy rammed itself into the upraised end. The akuma let out a howl of pain as the silvery metal sank into its bulging gut.

"Lucky Charm!" called Marinette, tossing her yo-yo up in the air. She still had no idea what the akuma was hiding in, but maybe the Charm would give her a clue.

* * *

Cat Noir thumbed the pawprint on his staff, retracting it to baton-length even as Doughboy grabbed for it. Behind the akuma, he heard his Lady calling for her Charm.

 _Guess that leaves me playing matador,_ he thought as Doughboy charged at him again. He leapt to the side… and the akuma went charging right past him, barreling towards Alya.

 _Shit_ , thought Cat Noir, and he leapt up and over the akuma, calling "Cataclysm!" even as he went flipping through the air. He felt the fiery energies of the Black Cat magic surge down his arm and pool in his hand, and he clenched his fist, wreathing it in an aura of primal destruction. He landed in a crouch on his feet and non-charged hand between Alya and the onrushing akuma, and slapped his other hand against the pavement. The ground crumbled out from under Doughboy, dropping it into an impromptu pit.

Adrien straightened to his feet, and spotted his Lady coming running up towards them, carrying a spotted red-and-black pair of comically oversized scissors like those Mayor Bourgeoise used for ribbon-cutting ceremonies. Doughboy was starting to try and clamber out of the pit, so Cat Noir whacked it in the head with his staff.

"You might want to get a bit further back!" he called over his shoulder to Alya as he jabbed at Doughboy's face, keeping its attention on him and forcing it to abandon trying to climb out in order to ward off his blows. Behind the akuma, Ladybug leapt into the pit, scissors brandished. As she leapt down, she caught Doughboy's shirt in between the jaws of the scissors, slicing it from top to bottom in one swift motion.

The akuma peeled out of the ruined shirt in a flash of shadow, but had barely even started to try and fly away when, with a cry of "Time to de-evilize!", Ladybug's yo-yo flashed out to snap it up.

"Gotcha!" crowed Ladybug as the yo-yo smacked into her palm.

Cat Noir turned and shot a broad smile at Alya's phone, turning around just in time to see the now-purified moth flutter away.

"Amazing, isn't she?" he commented.

"That she is," said Alya with a grin.

"Miraculous Ladybug!" called Marinette. Cat Noir saw the scissors go flying up into the air, where they exploded into a blizzard of sparkly magic ladybugs. When the swarm had cleared, Ladybug was standing next to a young boy, nearly as fat as a human as he'd been as an akuma, on the once-more-intact street. The Dupain-Cheng Boulangerie sparkled in the sunlight, all the damage undone and all the goods back where they belonged.

Cat Noir stepped forward, raising his fist to meet Ladybug's.

"Pound it!" they chorused.

"Ladybug, is there anything you'd like to share with your fans?" Alya asked, pushing past Cat Noir to get a closer shot of Ladybug.

"Sorry," said Marinette, "but I've got to find this little fellow's parents before we can do an interview. Cat Noir, do you think you could keep an eye on him for a minute, make sure he doesn't wander off?"

"No _paw_ -blem, Milady," said Cat Noir cheerfully. "Well," he commented to Alya's phone, "at least our little… what's your name anyway, little fellow?"

"Dudley," the boy said.

"At least Dudley here has good taste," Cat Noir continued. "If there is any _boulangerie_ in Paris whose pastries are worth being akumatized over, it would have to be this one."

"Really?" commented Alya, perking up. "I didn't know you were a customer of the Dupain-Chengs."

Cat Noir laughed. "How would you expect to know, Madame Ladyblogger?" he asked. "You have no idea who I am when I'm not wearing the mask. For all you know, I could work there."

His ring chimed, and he glanced down to see one of the paw pads wink out.

"Oh, so you've been to the Dupain-Cheng's in your civilian identity?" asked Alya.

"In both my identities, believe it or not," he said with a smirk.

"Seriously?" asked Alya. But before she could say anything more, a new voice rang out.

"DUDDIKINS! ICKLE DUDDIKINS!" A rather plain woman in a blue dress rounded the corner and came dashing towards Dudley, with a burly man with an impressive moustache puffing in her wake. Ladybug zoomed by over their heads to skid to a landing next to Cat Noir.

"Momma!" said Dudley, and rushed to meet the woman. She dropped down to one knee and pulled him into a hug. Marinette smiled slightly beneath her mask. Around them, customers began to pour back into the street, hoping to get back in line in a better position than they'd been in when the akuma showed up. Alya, Cat Noir, and Ladybug stepped back to avoid getting trampled.

"So, Ladybug," asked Alya, "Cat Noir tells me he's a regular at the Dupain-Cheng _boulangerie_. Do you and he go on dates there?"

Marinette facepalmed. "Honestly, do you have nothing better to do than speculate about our personal lives?" Her earrings chirped as if in agreement.

"Do you seriously not expect people to speculate about your secret identities?" protested Alya. "You're superheroes! Reporters are always speculating about what superheroes are like beneath the mask."

Cat Noir felt a slight flicker of disappointment as his ring chimed. He'd been hoping to tweak Alya's tail a bit, give her some juicy snippets that didn't actually reveal anything but would start another flurry of speculation on the Ladyblog fora. But his Lady had chosen to go a different route, and he wasn't about to contradict her lead.

"Look, for the hundredth time," Ladybug protested, "if Cat Noir and I _were_ dating, it would be nobody's business but ours. We're superheroes, not celebrities. And speaking of which, I think I'd better be off. Bug out!" Her yo-yo shot out and she flew up into the air.

"Me- _out_!" called Cat Noir over his shoulder as he leapt up after her.

* * *

As Ladybug and Cat Noir disappeared over the edge of the roof, Alya tapped her phone to switch to the camera pointed at her.

"Well there you have it, Ladyblog fans!" she said. "Once again, Paris has been saved by the Miraculous Ladybug! See you next time, whenever that may be!"

She thumbed off the livestream and finally let her smile relax.

 _Well,_ she thought, _that could have ended better. Still, at least I got some good footage, and that banter with Cat Noir. That'll make a nice addition to the blog._

She glanced at the clock on one corner of her phone display. _Hmm… As long as I'm here, might as well pop in and get some pastries. There's still plenty of time until lunch break is over, and the line's a lot shorter now._

She trotted over to the crosswalk, and was waiting for the lights to turn when she heard a familiar voice call her name from behind her. She turned to see Adrien and Marinette walk up hand-in-hand.

"Hello, lovebirds," she said with a grin. "What are you doing here, Adrien?"

"I had time after I finished lunch, and my father was busy, so I thought I'd drop by Marinette's," said Adrien with a smile. "You here for the akuma attack, or did you just want a snack?"

"The akuma attack," said Alya as the three of them set out across the crosswalk. "Though as long as I'm here, I might as well grab a snack. Shame you missed the ending on the attack, it was a pretty good one."

"Oh, I'm sure you caught it," said Marinette with a smile. "And I, for one, would _much_ rather watch akuma attacks on the Ladyblog than experience them in person."

"Thanks for your confidence in my journalism, girl," Alya replied.

"So, any Chloe-related problems at lunch?" asked Marinette as they entered the store.

"Nothing too bad, at least not that I caught," said Alya. "Just the usual levels of brattiness."

"Ok, that's good," said Marinette.

"Which reminds me, I had an idea I wanted to run by you," said Alya. "What if we deliberately pushed Chloe's buttons a bit, brought up you two's relationship in front of her, to try and get her reactions on-camera. If we can get video documentation of her reacting weirdly, that'll be a huge help in getting her dad to accept the truth."

Adrien winced. "I don't think that would be a good idea," he said. "If she isn't as far gone as we think, then we'll just be pushing her into akumatization again. And I really don't want to find out what her next form might be like."

"Good point," admitted Alya. "But isn't there kind of that risk anyway? If Chloe's unstable, then there's no telling _what_ will set her off."

"True," admitted Adrien, "but her delusional state doesn't seem to be progressing towards akumatization. Actually, come to think of it… I noticed she looked really out of it all yesterday after the akuma, and now this morning she's in full denial. Do you think Ladybug's magic put her in denial on purpose, so she wouldn't go akuma again upon seeing us together? Like a coping mechanism?"

Before Alya could respond, the person in front of them stepped aside and they were at the counter.

A few minutes later, all three of them were making their way back towards the school, munching on Dupain-Cheng pastries (and Alya noticed Marinette slipping a couple of wrapped cookies into her purse for later).

"So what _are_ we going to do about Chloe?" asked Alya.

"Dunno," said Adrien. "Seems to me all we can do for now is wait, document as much as we can, and try and get more information. You were right earlier, Alya. Documenting what's going on is going to be vital to getting Mayor Bourgeoise to believe this."

"Besides," he continued optimistically, "who knows? Maybe she'll come out of it on her own in a few days."

"I doubt that," said Alya with a smirk, "but it's worth a try."


	9. Chapter 9

It wasn't until they were most of the way back to St. Francis-Dupont that Adrien remembered one of the questions he'd wanted to ask Marinette when he ran over for lunch.

"So," he said, "Did you get a chance to talk to your parents about… us?"

Marinette blushed slightly. "Not yet," she admitted. "The bakery was really busy. I'll try and tell them over dinner."

"Same here," said Adrien. "Father was working through lunch, as usual. I did manage to get Natalie to lock him in for dinner, at least." He increased his smile to an outright grin, and added several tones' worth of whimsy to his voice. "So if I don't show up for classes tomorrow, you'll know that he doesn't approve of our relationship and decided to lock me away to protect me from gold-digging girlfriends like you."

"I _really_ wish that sounded more absurd than it does," said Marinette with a grimace.

 _So do I_ , thought Adrien, though he kept his wince purely internal.

"Ah, don't worry," said Alya. "The jealous father locking away his child to deter suitors and the beloved having to sneak in and out to dodge the father's wrath is one of the oldest and most time-honored romantic plots. Though I'll admit, it's usually the girl who gets locked away. Having it be the boy will be a nice strike for gender equality."

"Thank you, Alya," said Marinette sarcastically. "That's very helpful."

"I aim to please!" replied Alya with a smirk.

"Now, if father does lock me away," said Adrien, allowing himself a smile of the sort he normally only used as Cat Noir, "do you think I should remain in my durance, or should I run away? I've gotten out twice, I can probably do it again. Though of course, that brings up the problem of where I should run away _to_. Marinette's would be the obvious choice, and I'm sure her parents would take me in, but it would also be the first place my father would look." He turned and flashed Alya a grin. "Alya, can I count on you if I need a hiding spot? I don't believe my father knows you beyond 'one of Adrien's classmates', so it should be safe enough."

Alya laughed. "Fine with me, but I can't guarantee the rest of the family. Mom and Dad are nice, but they don't have the Dupain-Cheng's…nerve would be the word, I guess. That determination to do the right thing, no matter what anyone else says or thinks. I don't know if they'd be willing to hide a fugitive, even one with a good reason. The little ones, on the other hand, would probably be willing to keep a secret, but they are only ten, and a tad excitable. Can't guarantee they wouldn't let something slip."

"I think we'd better table this discussion for the moment," said Adrien, gesturing to the nearby St. Francis-Dupont.

"Agreed," said Alya.

* * *

As she stepped into Miss Mendeliev's classroom, Marinette stopped in her tracks. Chloe and Sabrina had taken the seats Marinette and Alya usually occupied, right behind a rather uncomfortable-looking Nino.

 _Just like our first day,_ thought Marinette. _Well, guess I'll have to try and face down Chloe again._

She drew in a deep breath, but before she could say anything, she was interrupted by the touch of Adrien's hand on her elbow. She turned to face him, and he shot her a very Cat Noir-ish wink and smile before hooking his elbow around hers and leading her into the room. For half a second, she had no idea what he was thinking, then it clicked.

 _Ah ha, clever kitty,_ she thought as the two of them slid into the seats Chloe and Sabrina had vacated. She glanced across the way to see Alya slip into Adrien's usual seat, next to Nino. Chloe looked absolutely bewildered, and for half a moment Marinette expected her to get back up and try and change seats again. But before she could, Miss Mendeliev spoke up.

"Good afternoon, class," she said, and to Marinette's relief Chloe subsided once again. "Now, today we will be covering…"

Marinette bit her lower lip and tried to focus. She already missed enough classes that she couldn't afford to zone out when she actually had managed to make it to class. But it was so _hard_ to concentrate with Adrien _right there!_ It had been bad enough when she was just sitting behind him, but now he was sitting right next to her, so close she could simply reach out and touch him. And worse, she now _knew_ exactly how soft and tingly his lips felt against hers, exactly how _right_ it felt to tangle her fingers into his hair and feel his fingers in hers…

"Miss Dupain-Cheng!"

Marinette jumped in her seat. "Yes, Mrs. Mendeliev?" she said.

"Would you care to answer the question on the blackboard? Just to show that you were following the lecture?"

"Of course, Mrs. Mendeliev," replied Marinette. She hadn't been, of course, but she'd managed to read ahead a bit, and it was a fairly simple problem. She climbed out of her seat, walked up to the blackboard, and began to write, narrating out loud as she went.

"Ok," she said. "Sixty-four grams of oxygen is four moles and sixty-four grams of hydrogen is sixty-four moles. Oxygen and hydrogen makes water, and that's H2O. So four…"

"Miss Bourgeois," interrupted Mrs. Mendeliev, "what on Earth do you think you are doing?"

Marinette spun round to see Chloe up out of her seat, striding across the room with an armful of books.

"Taking my proper seat, of course," said Chloe as she pushed Marinette's books onto the floor and dropped her own in their place. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

Adrien looked up and met Marinette's gaze, cocking his head slightly. Marinette shot a quick glance across the room. As she'd expected, Alya had her camera out and was recording the whole thing.

"Sorry Chloe," said Marinette, abandoning the half-finished problem on the blackboard to head back to her table and loom over Chloe. "But I believe that's _my_ seat." As Marinette had expected, Chloe completely ignored her, instead walking her finger along the desk towards Adrien's arm. Adrien in turn leaned away, almost completely falling off his seat.

"Oh, and the answer's seventy-two grams of water and fifty-six grams of hydrogen gas," Marinette added over her shoulder. "Now seriously, Chloe. _Get out of my seat._ "

"Aw, Adrikins, don't be shy," said Chloe, completely ignoring Marinette.

"Miss Bourgeois!" repeated Mrs Mendeliev. "Return to the seat you occupied at the start of this class at once, or I shall be forced to report you to Principal Damocles."

Chloe had started trying to scoot her stool sideways towards Adrien's, and completely ignored Mrs. Mendeliev.

"Fine," said Mrs. Mendeliev, and she turned for the door. Out of the corner of her eye, Marinette spotted Mrs. Mendeliev scoop something off her desk.

 _Uh oh. I think that was a voice recorder. So she's going to make sure her complaint is a matter of public record. I think things are about to blow up._

Marinette crossed her fingers, hoped fervently that a bit of her Ladybug luck would spill over into her civilian life, and darted around the table to bend over Adrien.

"What do we do?" she whispered.

"Just let it run," he whispered back. "I think it's out of our hands for the moment."

"Hey!" shouted Chloe. She leapt up out of her seat and tried to slap Marinette. Marinette ducked back to evade the slap, and Adrien slid sideways out of his seat and squeezed past Marinette.

For a long moment, the three of them contemplated each other. Marinette tried to keep her focus, but meeting Chloe's eyes, seeing that odd fey light alloyed with indignation in them, made her skin crawl. And of course having Adrien right there behind her, feeling his breath on the back of her neck and his hand resting on her shoulder, made her skin crawl in a far more pleasant, but equally distracting, fashion. Behind Chloe, Alya was still recording…

 _I hope she's not livestreaming this. That could be the last thing we need just now, with the situation this touchy._

… and Sabrina had just climbed out of her seat and scampered over to Chloe.

"Chloe?" she said, tapping Chloe on the shoulder. "Chloe, you need to sit down now, before Mrs. Mendeliev gets back."

"Not now, Sabrina," replied Chloe, without taking her gaze off Marinette. "Marinette, what do you think you're doing with my Adrikins?"

Marinette raised one hand and squeezed Adrien's hand where it rested on her shoulder, hoping he'd guess that she wanted him to take the lead here.

Adrien sighed, "Chloe, Marinette didn't do anything to me. I'm the one who started all this. All Marinette did was accept my advances."

Chloe stared blankly at the two of them for a moment. Then she smiled. It was not a happy smile. This was the smile that Chloe only produced when she was about to screw someone over dramatically.

"Well, Marinette," said Chloe, "I can understand the temptation, but I'm afraid I'm not one to share. Either you stop stalking my Adrikins, or I'll report you to the principal. You'll get suspended, maybe even expelled, and you won't be able to bother Adrien and me anymore anyway. So do yourself a favor and buzz off."

Adrien nudged Marinette in the side, and she slipped sideways to let him squeeze past her.

"Chloe," he said, his voice calm and level, heavy with sympathy. "I don't know how much of this is getting through to you, but if there's any part of you that is capable of understanding me right now, please believe me when I say that I can't let you do that. I do love you, of course. I probably always will. But it's not the same kind of love you have for me, or I have for Marinette. And no kind of love lets its subject spoil herself, not if it's true love."

He raised his left hand, the sapphire flashing in the light from the ceiling. "You can't make me love you the way you want, and I don't believe that you would want to if you were in your right mind. Marinette's my girlfriend now, not you. You can still be a part of my life, and I will never stop loving you, stop trying to do the best I can for you. But you need to accept that Marinette is my Lady. If you move right now, you might still have time to get back in your seat, your _original_ seat, before Mrs. Mendeliev gets back. We can forget this ever happened, and everyone will be happy."

The pause that followed seemed to stretch on forever. With Adrien now standing in front of her, Marinette couldn't get a good look at Chloe and could only guess how much, if any, of Adrien's speech had gotten through to the blonde girl. For a brief moment, she allowed herself to hope that Chloe might break out of whatever madness had consumed her. Fighting Hawkmoth was exhausting enough, and she had no desire to have to fight Chloe as well. And this fate, to be trapped forever in delusion, was something she wouldn't wish even on her oldest enemy.

And then the door swung open and Mrs. Mendeliev stalked into the room, fury practically radiating off her.

 _Uh oh,_ Marinette thought, suddenly aware of the Ladybug Earrings in her ears. _Almighty God, be with me now._

"Miss Bourgeois…" said Mrs. Mendeliev, then she sighed, the anger seeming to flow out of her. "Could you please take a seat? And Miss Dupain-Cheng and Mr. Agreste, the same to you? This is still supposed to be a classroom, and I would like to get through the lecture today."

"Of course," said Chloe chirpily, and she dropped back into her stolen seat. Having no idea what else to do, Marinette circled around the front of the desk to collect her things off the floor. Seeing motion out of the corner of her eye, she looked up to see Adrien, books and notes in hand, walk to the back of the room and drop into an empty seat next to Kim.

 _Heh, clever kitty,_ thought Marinette. She finished picking up her own things, and decided to claim the now-empty seat next to Sabrina. It wouldn't be the same as being next to her Kitten, but at least Chloe wouldn't be seated next to him either.

 _Besides,_ she thought as she dropped into her new space, _this way I probably have a better chance of actually being able to pay attention to the lecture._

"Marinette?" whispered Sabrina, "Can we talk? Later this evening, maybe?"

"Of course!" whispered Marinette back.

"If I could have your attention, please?" said Mrs. Mendeliev, and Marinette obligingly focused on her teacher.

 _Looks like the danger is passed,_ she thought. _Hawkmoth must not have been paying attention, and I don't think Mrs. Mendeliev is angry enough to be vulnerable anymore._

 _Thank you, Lord._

* * *

After classes let out for the day, Sabrina and Marinette paused on the sidewalk. To Sabrina's surprise, Alya joined them.

"What's _she_ doing here?" asked Alya.

"I was about to ask the same thing," retorted Sabrina.

"Girls, calm down," said Marinette. "Sabrina, you're here about Chloe, right?"

Sabrina bit her lip. "…Yes," she admitted. "I don't know what happened, but she's been acting weird all day. You saw how she behaved in class, and the things she said to me at lunch didn't make any sense."

"Yes, we've noticed it as well," said Marinette. "Honestly, I don't know what happened to her either. But Adrien thinks that whatever it is, Chloe is going to need serious psychological help dealing with it. And I agree with him."

Sabrina flinched. "You really think it's that bad?" she asked, but she was afraid she already knew the answer.

"What do you think?" interjected Alya. "You know Chloe better than we do, and it sounds like you've seen more than we have."

Sabrina contemplated her shoes. "I don't know," she said. "I just don't know."

"Neither do we, not for sure," said Marinette. "But… well, I'm sure that I'm not sure, if that makes any sense. I'm sure that Chloe at least needs to speak to a psychiatrist, someone who can tell us whether there's something wrong with her."

"The problem," said Alya, "is that Mayor Bourgeois absolutely _dotes_ on his daughter. He's not going to take it well if we suggest that she speak to a psychotherapist. So we're trying to gather so much evidence that he'll _have_ to admit that something's up. Well, that and just waiting for Chloe to do something so spectacular her father can't sweep it under the rug."

"I… see," said Sabrina slowly. Then she nodded her head, her mind suddenly made up.

"Ok, I'm with you. So what's the plan?"

"That was the other thing I wanted to discuss," said Marinette. "I'm still leaning towards waiting and gathering information, at least for the moment. We still don't have anything more than circumstantial evidence, and we're going to need something pretty concrete to bring before Mayor Bourgeois. Plus, there's still the possibility that we're wrong about this, or that Chloe might snap out of it on her own."

"Agreed," said Alya. "I'll keep gathering the info, but I won't post it just yet. Though… we might want to let the Mayor know we have it. If Chloe goes through on her threats and tries to get her dad to sic the police on Marinette, we need to let him know that we've got proof and lots of witnesses that Marinette's not at fault here."

Marinette shook her head. "No, I don't think so. There will be time enough to use our evidence if we need it, and I don't think even Mayor Bourgeois is going to find it easy to bring a stalking complaint on Adrien's behalf when Adrien himself will refuse to cooperate. No point in starting fights we don't have to."

She turned to Sabrina. "Sabrina, you keep an eye on Chloe, and be there for her if she starts showing signs of lucidity."

"Will do!" said Sabrina, with a quick salute.

* * *

There were certain advantages to living in a bakery. For one thing, there was fresh bread with nearly every meal. Tonight, there was also turkey soup, with a chewy bread for dipping and a small salad. A good meal, one of Marinette's favorites. Perfect for discussing boyfriends over.

"Mom, Dad," said Marinette as soon as her father finished the blessing, "there's something I need to tell you about."

"Yes?" said her mother, looking worried.

"Um…" God, this was embarrassing. "You know Adrien Agreste? From school?"

"The boy you have a crush on?" said her father with a smile.

"Yeah, so… we'rekindofdatingnow," she finished in a rush.

 _There, got it out,_ she thought, taking a mouthful of soup.

"Dating?" said her father. "Really?"

"Is that where that ring came from?" added her mother.

Marinette nodded.

"How'd this happen? And do I need to give him the 'overprotective father' speech?" asked Marinette's father.

Marinette gulped down her mouthful of soup. "No!" she blurted out. "Please don't," she said. "Considering his father, there's a chance he'd actually take you seriously. I don't think I could stand losing him now."

Marinette's father raised his eyebrows. "Um… Ok?"

Marinette blushed. "Sorry," she said. "It's just… I've spent so long dreaming of this, that now that I have it I'm terrified of losing it."

There was a short pause, during which Marinette managed to get down a few more spoonfuls of soup.

"So when do we get to meet him properly?" asked Marinette's mother.

"I'm not sure," said Marinette. "His father's got him on a really tight schedule. Maybe I can bring him over for lunch or dinner someday? I can ask tomorrow."

As if on cue, the _boulangerie_ phone rang. Marinette's mother rose to her feet and went over to take the call.

"Dupain-Cheng boulangerie, Sabine speaking," she said.

"Yes, Marinette just told us."

"I think… yes, Thursday should work."

"Half past six it is."

Marinette's mother put down the phone.

"That," she said, "was Gabriel Agreste. He would like to invite us over to dinner at his house at half-past-six on Thursday. Sounds like we have our answer."

Marinette tried to hide the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

 _Dinner with Adrien's father. This is going to be… interesting._


	10. Chapter 10

When the news first came in, Adrien was busy typing away at his homework.

He was almost equal parts saddened and relieved to have gotten away from that dinner table. After that phone call, it had been as if Adrien had gotten his father back. He had told stories about how he and Adrien's mother had met, he had asked questions and apparently listened to the answers, he'd even smiled and laughed and tried to tell a couple of jokes. It had been as if a year and more of pain had been rolled back, and Gabriel Agreste was once again the so much more _human_ father Adrien remembered from _before_. It had been somehow both excruciating and wonderful, or rather it had been wonderful because it was so excruciating and excruciating because it was so wonderful.

And then Natalie had slipped in and reminded Adrien's father that he had a videoconference with an American fashion label. And before Adrien's eyes, his father had once again become the Gabriel Agreste of the past year, the man of stone. It was uncannily like what Adrien imagined it must look like from the outside when he switched from being Cat Noir to being Adrien, or when he donned his model's face.

Adrien's dinner had long since been finished, and so he fled upstairs. He hadn't been altogether lying when he told Chloe he had a great deal of homework to do, and focusing on hydrogen and oxygen and ratios of stochiometry was just what he needed to distract himself from the pain of seeing that cold mask slip over his father's face once more.

And then his phone chimed, warning him of an incoming text. He reached for the phone. It was Alya, and according to the heading he, Marinette, and Sabrina were all receiving this message.

 _Just saw this,_ he read. _Chloe has lost it big-time. Read and see._

Adrien clicked open the link. It turned out to be an article from one of the tabloid publishers that he and every other celebrity in Paris so loathed, that were always hunting for the tiniest slip or gaffe that they could turn into that night's sensation. And tonight was a doozy.

 _Mayor's Daughter Arrested!_ blared the headline.

 _In an event that could have stunning implications for Mayor Andre Bourgeoise's political future_ , Adrien read, _his daughter Chloe was apparently arrested this night for public disturbance at Imagine Dragon's Eiffel Tower rock concert. Miss Bourgeoise seems to have had a violent disagreement with one of her fellow concert-goers, a young man whose name we have been unable to ascertain. Witnesses report that Miss Bourgeoise repeatedly accused the young man of having obtained his ticket illegally. When the young man denied these allegations, witnesses the argument rapidly escalated to the point where concert security was required to expel both parties. The unknown young man in question seems to have departed at this point, but Miss Bourgeoise apparently repeatedly returned and demanded entry to the concert. Eventually, the concert organizers were forced to contact the police. Lieutenant Roger Raincomprix responded, removing Miss Bourgeoise from the scene. Further details to come…_

His phone chimed again, and he thumbed back to the group chat.

 _Sabrina: Dear God._

 _Hadn't heard from Dad._

 _Alya: No kidding!_

 _Sabrina: Don't think he'll want to charge Chloe, would want to just let her off with a warning and a fine._

 _But that means Chloe would have to admit what she did, and if we're right she's not going to do that._

 _What do we do now?_

 _Adrien:_

 _No idea. Can't even begin to guess what Chloe's dad will do._

 _Marinette:_

 _Nothing right now. See how Mayor jumps tomorrow. If necessary, tell him about Chloe._

 _Adrien:_

 _Nothing to be done right now. Better to prepare and brace ourselves. May need to present our evidence to Chloe's dad tomorrow. I can probably get a chance to talk to him._

 _Sabrina:_

 _Was afraid something like this would happen but couldn't get tickets. Please forgive me?_

 _Marinette:_

 _Not your fault._

 _Adrien:_

 _Not your fault, Sabrina._

As Adrien typed, his gaze was caught by the blue flash of the ring on his left hand. A sudden surge of guilt welled up in him.

 _If anything, it's mine,_ he typed.

 _Alya:_

 _This is in no way your fault, Adrien!_

 _Sabrina:_

 _If not my fault, not your fault either._

 _Marinette:_

 _Not your fault. I'm the one who started this, remember?_

 _Alya:_

 _You have a perfect right to date whoever you want._

 _Adrien:_

 _I've been Chloe's best friend since forever. I should have known she'd lose it when she found out Marinette and I were dating. I could at least have tried to break it to her more gently._

 _Sabrina:_

 _I'm Chloe's friend too. I could have done more, especially after she was akumatized._

 _Alya:_

 _Texting Kim on other line. He says story true. Doesn't know what happened to Chloe, went straight home to sulk after getting thrown out._

 _Not that he said last bit, but we both know he did._

Adrien snorted and sent a quick trio of laughing face emojis. Alya responded with a squirrel emoji.

 _Alya:_

 _Anyhoo, Adrien's right. It's late, and I can't think of anything else to do just now. Let's see how things stand in the morning._

 _Sabrina:_

 _Concur. Chloe not answering her phone. Will let you know if I hear anything._

 _Adrien:_

 _Likewise. See you tomorrow._

 _Sabrina:_

 _See you tomorrow._

 _Alya:_

 _See ya!_

Adrien stared at his phone for a while.

"Kid," said Plagg, bobbing up behind his shoulder, "You _do_ know that this is no way, shape, or form your fault, don't you?"

"But it _is_!" said Adrien, unease condensing into bitter certainty even as he spoke. " _I_ broke her, Plagg. _I_ said the words, _I_ hit her exactly where she was weakest. Maybe there was no way to avoid a fight, maybe even the akumatization would have come no matter how I approached it. But if I'd been even the least bit more tactful about this, if I'd spared even _one thought_ for the girl who was supposed to be my first friend, then maybe Babydoll would have been the end of it. Maybe she would have at least admitted that Marinette and I are together now. And no matter how much she disliked it, she would have had to learn to live with that eventually. It could have been exactly the lesson she needed, and I ruined it."

"Look, kid," said Plagg, "I know all about mistakes causing destruction. I have extinguished species and sunk continents because I didn't think through what I was doing. So trust me when I say: _This is not your fault_. You were honest, straightforward, and made it very clear what was happening. If Chloe couldn't accept that, that's on her, not you."

Adrien sighed. "Maybe you're right. Anyway, it's not like it really matters. I did what I did, and Chloe did what she did, and not even Ladybug can fix that. What matters now is what we all do next."

"Very wise, kid," said Plagg. "I vote the next thing you do is get me some cheese."

* * *

Marinette gazed across the street at the _L'Grand Paris_ penthouse. From this angle, she could just see Chloe on the screen of her yo-yo, lying in her bed. She hadn't stirred in at least a minute, and Marinette was fairly certain she was asleep.

She snapped her yo-yo shut. "Ok," she whispered. "If this is going to work, give me… give me a pair of earrings. And a ring if it won't work." She wasn't completely certain that talking to her powers like this would actually get a response, but she figured that if the Ladybug magic was smart enough (or possibly Tikki aware enough) to give her a teapot or a mallet as a sign to ask Master Fu for reinforcements, she could ask it questions.

"Lucky Charm," she whispered, tossing her yo-yo up into the air and praying for a response.

What dropped into her hands was neither earrings nor a ring. Instead, it was a very familiar and distinctively-carved bracelet.

"Ok, ok," she said. "I get the message."

She fastened the replica bracelet around her wrist and set out for Agreste Manor. It wasn't very far, and she thought she could make it there before detransforming.

* * *

There was a knock at Adrien's window, and he looked up from his history paper just in time to see Ladybug slipping in his window.

"Ladybug?" he blurted out. "What are you… akuma?" he cut himself off, leaping up out of his seat.

"No, no!" said Ladybug quickly, waving her hands. "Listen, there's something I have to show you before I detransform. Just a minute ago, I was over at Chloe's. Thought the Miracle might be able to fix her mind. Told the magic to give me earrings when I called for my Charm if it was going to work. Well, instead of earrings I got this."

She raised her left wrist, flourishing it before his eyes. Around her wrist was an ornate bracelet, the same red-with-black-spots as any other Charm. Adrien stared at it, the shape teasing at his memory. He'd seen something like that bracelet before…

"Master Fu's bracelet!" he blurted out.

"Exactly," said Ladybug. There was a rapid string of five beeps from her earrings, and the Ladybug suit dissolved away in a shower of pink sparkles, leaving behind Marinette. In that adorable polka-dot nightdress.

Adrien resolutely fixed his eyes on Marinette's, trying his best not to think about how adorably feminine she looked in that dress, how it made him want to kiss her and more, how she was _in his bedroom_ …

Marinette fished a cookie out of her nightgown and offered it to Tikki, who took the treat and began to munch away. "Anyway," she was saying, "I think we need to talk to Master Fu tomorrow. It seems that the Lucky Charm is telling me that Master Fu will know how to cure Chloe. And..." her cheeks blushed an adorable shade of pink, "I realized we really ought to tell him about… us. At the very least, he needs to know that we know each other's identities now."

"I suppose you're right," said Adrien with a sigh. He knew he owed Master Fu more than he could ever imagine for giving him the Black Cat's Ring, but he still hadn't quite forgiven the old man for keeping him in the dark for so long.

"I think the best time to see Master Fu would be right after school lets out for the day," he said, quickly running through his schedule in his mind. "I've got a photoshoot tomorrow afternoon, from lunch well into the afternoon. Father's usually busy right after a shoot arranging and perfecting the images, so I will have some free time. I know where Master Fu's is, and we can meet there say… half an hour after school? Always assuming there's no akuma, of course. If there's an akuma, then we'll just dash over to Master Fu's right after we cleanse it. There should be enough chaos to cover a few minutes."

"Sounds like a plan," said Marinette with a smile. "Tikki, spots on!"

Pink sparkles swirled around Marinette, and then Ladybug stood there.

Adrien felt a blush stain his cheeks. Even now that he knew that the two were the same person, his feelings for Ladybug were still subtly different than his feelings for Marinette. In the "Adrienette" relationship, he had been the pursued and not the pursuer, and even now that he knew that his Lady lurked behind Marinette's eyes, he still felt more in control, more the dominant partner, when she was wearing that face.

But when Ladybug revealed herself, the entire dynamic inverted. Even as Cat Noir, Adrien had always been the pursuer in that relationship, the one who sought favor. And as Adrien, without the confidence that fusion with Plagg brought him, Adrien was almost as discombobulated as his own fanclub.

Ladybug's lips quirked in a smirk. "My, my, don't _you_ look hot under the collar all of a sudden," she said. "What's wrong, not used to having strange women in skintight suits show up in your room in the middle of the night?"

Adrien let out a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, now that you mention it…" he said, before Ladybug cut him off by taking a step forward, grabbing him around the chest, and planting a kiss on his lips. Adrien closed his eyes and melted into the kiss, feeling his Lady's tongue slip into his mouth and twine around his own. He felt one of her hands tangle itself in his hair and reciprocated, slipping one and into her hair and one around her waist.

He was just starting to think about coming up for air, when he heard the door creak open behind him.

"Adri…en?" the familiar voice trailed off, and Adrien felt his Lady stiffen against him. Not without a slight twinge of regret, Adrien broke the kiss and turned his head to see what he'd already known would be there.

Standing in the doorway to Adrien's room, clad in light purple pajamas and with a large photo album under one arm, was Gabriel Agreste.


	11. Chapter 11

"I wish you could be here for this, Emilie," Gabriel said.

Of course, Emilie didn't answer him. Staring down at his wife's expressionless face, Gabriel felt the first twinges of doubt.

"None of it was supposed to matter," he whispered. "Nothing I did, nothing I left undone, none of it would be _real_. It would all be undone as soon as I had the Miraculouses. What was the point of spending time with Adrien, when he wouldn't remember any of it? What did it matter how much harm I did with my akumas, when it would all be fixed in the end? But now… I don't want to lose this. I don't want to lose what Adrien and I had tonight, and I don't know if I can get it back if I erase it."

"It's not too late to stop, Master," said Nooroo. "Ladybug and Cat Noir still have no idea who you are. Set me aside, and they will have no way to find you. You can return to your normal life, rebuild your relationship with your son."

Gabriel bowed his head, eyes closed.

 _Perhaps it is time to stop,_ he thought. _It's been almost a year, and I'm no closer to getting the Miraculouses. Ladybug and Cat Noir are getting better with every fight, while my akumas must start from scratch every time._

 _And now this. Now Adrien has a girlfriend, and I came so close to missing it. If I win, if I roll back time, will he be able to find her again? One small change can alter everything, let alone something as delicate as the first stirrings of romance._

He raised his hand to his throat.

 _This need not be permanent. I can always take the Brooch up again, if I so choose. But for a few days, at least, I wish to be simply Gabriel Agreste._

He pulled the Moth Brooch away from his throat and looked down at it.

 _It really is beautiful like this, with the wings. Almost a shame I can't wear it this way all the time._

He tucked the brooch into his pocket, scooped up the photo album he'd been reminiscing over from the table, and turned towards the elevator.

 _I think I'll see if Adrien's still up. Be nice to look at some photos with him._

* * *

"Uh… This isn't what it looks like!"

Even as she said the words, Marinette realized how utterly absurd they sounded. Moreover, while they happened to be true, there was no way that she could explain _why_ they were true. As catastrophic as the consequences of Gabriel blaming her for seducing Adrien might be, the consequences of her secret identity getting out would almost certainly be worse.

Gabriel just stared at her, not even dignifying her comment with a response. Adrien seemed likewise at a loss for words, his face studiously blank.

Marinette's mind raced as fiercely as it ever had in battle.

 _Can't afford to reveal the truth. Got to try and talk him down if I can, but more important to make sure_ Adrien _doesn't get blamed for this. He doesn't know who Ladybug is, and we can handle akuma-Gabriel if we have to, however little Adrien's going to like that._

"Sorry, Mister Agreste," she said quickly. "All my fault." As she spoke, she rubbed one hand against the golden ring on Adrien's left hand, hoping he would get the message. "I know I shouldn't have kissed Adrien without asking first, but… well, I just couldn't help myself."

Adrien stared at her blankly.

 _Damn it,_ thought Marinette. _If I could just have_ ten seconds _to talk to Adrien in private…_

"I think you had better leave, Ladybug," said Gabriel Agreste.

Marinette sighed. "Yes, I suppose I had better."

She turned, leapt up, and slipped out through the still-open window. She swung across the street, then touched down on the nearest roof and turned to stare back through Adrien's window.

 _And now to wait,_ she thought. _If it's going to happen, it'll happen soon._

* * *

For a long moment, Gabriel just stood there, not quite looking at Adrien. Adrien wanted nothing more to look away, but he kept his gaze fixed on his father's face. Should his father be akumatized, a fraction of a second's response could make the difference between survival and any number of unspeakable fates. He racked his brains, hoping he could think of a way to talk his father down without revealing the truth.

"Why?" Gabriel finally asked.

"It's… well… it's Ladybug," Adrien said slowly. "I love Marinette, I really do, but… well, it's not the same thing."

Suddenly, a thought flashed through his mind. _Was_ that _what Ladybug was trying to tell me? To throw the blame on her? It has to be. Why else would she have phased what she said to Father like that?_

"It's like…" he said, choosing his words even more carefully than before. "It's like in those Greek myths, almost. If Zeus comes down from the sky in a shower of gold, do you think it matters whether or not you're married?"

He sighed, carefully allowing just a hint of regret into his tone and features. "Maybe I'd have said something, if she'd given me the chance. I don't know. It all happened so fast… One minute she's slipping in my window, and then before I knew where I was she was kissing me."

Gabriel echoed Adrien's sigh and closed his eyes. "I won't say anything to Marinette about this, not unless it happens again," he said. "But I think you should. She deserves the truth, however unpleasant it may be. Think about it." He opened his eyes and turned to go.

"Father," Adrien called.

"Yes, Adrien?" Gabriel replied, not turning around.

"Please don't be angry at Ladybug," Adrien said, crossing mental fingers. "It's not all her fault. She doesn't know about me and Marinette."

Gabriel paused for a moment in the doorway, but left without responding.

"Well," said Plagg, popping up from behind the desk, "That could have gone worse."

"It's not over yet, Plagg," Adrien said. "Remember the _last_ time Father was this angry?"

"Oh, right," Plagg said. "Hang on a sec…"

He flew over and phased out the window, before popping back in. "Looks like your girlfriend had the same idea," the tiny god remarked. "She's waiting on the roof across the way."

Adrien blushed. It still felt weird to think of Ladybug as his girlfriend.

"How long are you going to wait up, anyway?" Plagg asked.

"I don't know," Adrien replied. "Usually, if someone doesn't get akumatized in the first few minutes, they're not going to. I think… I think if Father doesn't get akumatized in the next few minutes, then either he's got his emotions under control for now, or Hawkmoth isn't looking for akumas at the moment. Either way, it should be safe to get some sleep. I hope."

* * *

 _Claudia leapt from rooftop to rooftop, zigzagging to and fro across the narrow street as she tried to get a clean shot. Unfortunately, the eidolon was evidently familiar with her capabilities, and kept ducking and dodging behind civilians, stalls, and anything else that would keep her from getting a clear line of fire. The thing was pushing its stolen body to the limit, ignoring fatigue and the injuries she'd inflicted on it during those few moments hand-to-hand._

 _There was no time to stop and call for a Lucky Charm. This eidolon was cunning and clever, if she stopped chasing it for even a few moments, it might slip her entirely. She'd just have to rely on her own mind, and her luck as Volucris Rubrum._

 _And just then, she saw her chance. Ahead, the crowd thinned. She could here the monotonous sing-song of the lictors calling for the crowds to make way for the carriage of some official. But at this exact moment, the open space created by the crowds drawing back had yet to be occupied by the oncoming carriage._

 _The eidolon checked itself, skidding to a halt before it entered the open space. But Claudia had already leapt from her roof, and she landed right behind the eidolon, close enough to see the luminous golden eyes that were the spirit's betraying mark as it spun around to face her, almost close enough to reach out and touch its stolen body._

 _With a flick of her wrist, her yo-yo wrapped the eidolon's host up, and the body crashed to the ground. The yo-yo string flashed white, and Claudia felt something push against it as the eidolon tried to escape its stolen body. But the magic running through the string bound the eidolon just as surely as the string itself bound the host. Claudia saw those golden eyes widen with terror as the creature realized what was about to happen._

 _"Eidolon," shouted Claudia, "I cast you out!"_

 _The string of her yo-yo blazed white. The eidolon's stolen body arced, and the creature let out a harsh, inhuman shriek. Those eyes blazed the same brilliant white as the cord of her yo-yo for a heartbeat, then faded to a human brown._

 _With a flick of her wrist, Claudia retracted her yo-yo into her palm and turned to leave._

 _"Volucris Rubrum," said a familiar voice, heavy with amusement. Claudia turned and only barely managed to keep from bursting into laughter. Gazing down at her from the window of the carriage was none other than Gaius Fidelius Felix, her own husband._

 _She felt her cheeks heat up as amusement gave way to embarrassment. Most of the time, she could keep her personas separate enough to avoid feeling embarrassed at running around Rome in a skin-tight suit and absolutely nothing else, but being seen like this by her Gaius, by one of only two people who knew her as_ both _Volucris Rubrum_ and _Claudia Crusta, that could still embarrass her._

 _"May I ask what is going on here?" asked Gaius, clearly struggling to hold back his own amusement._

 _As if to put the cap on her embarrassment, the eidolon victim chose this moment to step in._

 _"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he babbled. He dropped to his knees in front of Claudia and began to kiss her feet, still babbling thanks and offers of undying service._

 _Claudia's face must be almost as red as her suit by now, but she had to say something. She opened her mouth, and…_

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP! DWEEDLE-DEE! BEEP-BEEP-BEEP! DWEEDLE-DEE!

Claudia… no, _Marinette_ , struggled awake. She threw back her covers, hit the alarm on her bedside clock, and, still more than half asleep, rolled out of bed and padded over to where her phone lay on her desk. She thumbed that alarm off as well, and stared at the phone for a second.

She wanted so badly to crash back into bed. It had already been late when she'd gotten the idea to try her Miracle on Chloe, and even after she'd decided that Gabriel Agreste wasn't going to get akumatized that night, nerves had kept her from falling asleep for a while. All told, she had only gotten a few hours of sleep that night. She wanted to just plop down on her bed and fall back asleep.

She wanted too, but she knew she couldn't. She already missed far too many classes, and she couldn't afford to miss any she didn't have to. Instead, she walked over to her closet and grabbed the day's clothes.

"Good morning, Marinette!" chirped Tikki as the ladybug kwami floated up next to her.

"Good morning to you, Tikki," replied Marinette with a smile. "Hey, I have a question for you," she added as her brain began to kick into gear.

"Yes?" replied Tikki.

"I had a Ladybug dream again," said Marinette as she pulled off her pajama shirt. "And I could have sworn that Claudia… that was the name of the Ladybug in the dream, Claudia Crusta… I could have sworn that she remembered her and her Cat Noir knowing each other's identities. Did your previous Bearers know the identities of their partners?"

"Most of the time," Tikki said. "Usually you can trust other Bearers to keep the secret. Hawkmoth's a bit of a special case, because of the way the Moth Brooch works. So most of the time the Bearers would know each other if they knew each other, if you know what I mean."

"I'm not sure I do," admitted Marinette as she slipped into her pants.

"Well," said Tikki, "Usually, we aren't all in the same area. Take Claudia, for example. When I was bonded to her, Plagg and I were active in Rome. But of the others you know… Let's see, Pollen was active in Ireland at the time. Trixx was in Japan, I think. Or possibly the Koreas, she moved around that area a lot back then. Anyway, Wayzz was between partners, Duusuu was in Abyssinia, and Nooroo hadn't gotten a Miraculous yet. So most of the Bearers would never come in contact with each other, but if they did they generally shared identities. Plagg and I were both in Rome just then, so our Bearers knew each other. And Pollen was in Ireland and Eponna in Britain, so I think they'd shared identities. You get the idea."

"I see," said Marinette. "Lucky them. You have _no idea_ how nice it feels to know Cat Noir's identity, to know at least one person who I can share all the stresses of being Ladybug with."

"Or maybe you do," she added as she bent to tie her shoes. "I guess you and Plagg kind of had to deal with the same thing before Dark Owl, didn't you?"

"I did miss the little sourpuss," Tikki admitted with a chiming giggle.

"I noticed," replied Marinette with a smile as she opened her purse. "Now come on. I need coffee, and we've both got sweethearts to meet."

* * *

The photo was very nearly one of a kind. So far as Gabriel Agreste knew, only three copies existed. The first he was holding, the second was a digital copy in his secret database, and the third lay beneath Emilee's folded hands.

The picture showed a woman, clad in a flowing electric-blue dress that fanned out into a series of rounded points where it hit the floor. Each point bore a ring of darker blue around a spot of light pink. Brilliant green eyes shone behind an ornate opera-style mask, and golden hair fell in a tight braid over one shoulder. A hand fan of peacock feathers was held in front of the mouth and nose, with the green eyes just barely peeking over the top.

Gabriel stared at the picture, and wondered idly whether he'd be able to recognize Emilie behind the cobalt dress and the ornate mask if he didn't already know it was her. It seemed obvious enough to him, but he also knew from personal experience just how strong the glamour on the Miraculouses could be.

For that matter, he'd wondered in the past whether the glamour would affect someone who didn't know that this was a Miraculous in action. If he showed the picture to Adrien with no explanation, allowed him to think it was simply a fancy costume, would Adrien recognize his mother? Gabriel had seriously considered trying it last night, before...

He sighed, closing his eyes and burying his face in his hands as the memories of the previous night came pouring back.

He'd never truly _hated_ Ladybug and Cat Noir. They were obstacles, annoying and frustrating obstacles, but he knew that wasn't their fault. They had no way of knowing what he intended to Wish for, what their refusal to simply surrender their Miraculously was costing him.

But now… now for the first time, he was truly _angry_ at Ladybug.

 _It's not enough that you deny me my wife,_ he thought _, you have to corrupt my son as well? The first good thing to happen to me since_ that day _, the chance to watch Adrien at least get to feel what I've lost, and you have to take that away?_

Suddenly, a wave of power flowed through him. His aimless frustration and anger were purified into _purpose_ by some strange mental alchemy, and he heard a woman's voice in his mind.

"Menelaus," she said, voice kindly and inhumanly melodic, "I am Hawkmoth…"


	12. Chapter 12

As usual, Adrien had completed his morning routines and gotten in the car without ever setting eyes on his father. He wasn't quite sure whether to be disappointed or relieved. After the awkward events of last night, it was something of a relief not to have to discuss his "dalliance" with his Lady. But on the other hand, the longer he went without confronting the issue with his father, the harder it would become to ever get past it. And after that brief taste of what his relationship with his father had once been like, Adrien had no desire to go back to the last year's state of things. ****  
****

_Not sure what to do about that,_ Adrien thought. _But definitely not going to do anything without consulting with Ladybug first. We should have some time this afternoon, if all goes according to plan._ ** **  
****

 _So the situation with my father and the one with Chloe are on hold until we can consult with Master Fu… I guess I'll just have to get through the day._ ** **  
****

 _And here we go…_ he thought as he climbed out of the car. To his relief, Chloe was nowhere to be seen. Alya and Marinette were, though. ****  
****

"Adrien!" said Marinette, pulling him into a tight hug. "How are things with your dad?" She whispered in his ear. ** **  
****

"Ok for now," Adrien whispered back, and he felt some of the tension leave Marinette's body. ** **  
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There was a flash, and Adrien looked up to see Alya holding her phone with a big grin on her face. ** **  
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"Aww, you two look so sweet together," she said. "That one's definitely going in the scrapbook." ** **  
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Marinette twisted around in Adrien's arms and blushed. "Alya!" she protested. ** **  
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"Girl," replied Alya, "I spent almost a _year_ trying to get you two dorks together. Now that I've actually _done_ it, I intend to celebrate." ****  
****

Marinette's blush intensified. "Ok, fair enough," she said. After one final squeeze, she released Adrien. "So where's Chloe?" she asked. "If she's going to jump out at us again…" ** **  
****

"Dunno," admitted Alya. "She doesn't seem to… never mind, here she comes." ** **  
****

"Aha!" ** **  
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Adrien's stomach twisted at the look of triumph on Chloe's face. ** **  
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"Caught you, Marinette," Chloe crowed. "I warned you to stay away from Adrien, but you wouldn't listen. Well, now it's time to pay." ** **  
****

Marinette leaned in closer to Adrien as Chloe pulled out her phone. "Any idea what she's talking about?" she whispered. ** **  
****

"Not a _claw_ ," he whispered back, causing Marinette to let out a quiet giggle. ****  
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"Hello, this is Chloe Bourgeois," Chloe said into her phone. "I'd like to report Marinette Dupain-Cheng for violating the restraining order against her." ** **  
****

 _What the_ hell _?_ Adrien thought. ****  
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"The one barring her from contact with Adrien Agreste, of course," said Chloe. ** **  
****

There was another moment's pause, then Chloe's face twisted in irritation. "What do you mean…listen, I'm coming over there right now. We're going to discuss this in _person_." ****  
****

And with that, she spun around and stormed off. ** **  
****

"I'd better go with her. Tell Miss Bustier I'm sorry?" said Sabrina before dashing off after Chloe. ** **  
****

There was a long pause, which was interrupted by the ringing of the class bell. ** **  
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"Well," said Alya as they filed inside, " _that_ was weird. Methinks Chloe's madness is about to come out." ****  
****

* * *

Miss Bustier was in the middle of her lecture when the door to the class opened and a figure stepped in. The upper portion of the intruder's costume resembled a cobalt-blue man's business suit, with a black tie and a breast pocket out of which there peeked the edge of a photograph. Further down, the suit morphed into a flowing robe that split into rounded points where it touched the ground, each point marked with a dot of pink surrounded by a ring of deep navy. The overall effect reminded Marinette of one of her mother's cheongsams. ** **  
****

In his left hand, the figure grasped a fan of peacock feathers. Icy blue eyes shone behind an ornate operatic mask, and silver hair was pulled back into a point. Beside her, Marinette felt Adrien tense as he realized what she had. ** **  
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 _Gabriel Agreste_ , she thought. _Oh Hell. Is he akumatized, or… it's crazy, but that costume he's wearing looks almost_ exactly _like the picture of the Peacock hero from the Miraculous spellbook. Mr. Agreste owns the book, so I suppose he would have seen that same picture, but why would he pick_ that _, of all things, as the basis for an akuma form? But on the other hand, how in the world would he have gotten his hands on the Peacock Miraculous?_ ** **  
****

Miss Bustier turned to address Gabriel, her characteristic cheerfulness only barely edged with tension. "Hello," she said. "Welcome to my classroom, Mister… I'm sorry, I don't think I got your name." ** **  
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"Call me Menelaus," said Gabriel Agreste. There was an uncharacteristic note of cheerfulness in his voice, one that gave his voice such a resemblance to his son's that the juxtaposition made Marinette's skin crawl. ** **  
****

 _Well, that pretty much settles matters for "akuma",_ she thought. _But what is he doing_ here? _Did he come to punish Adrien for flirting with me? And where have I heard the name "Menelaus" before?_ ** **  
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"Sorry to interrupt your class, everyone," said Menelaus. As he spoke, he casually pulled a smaller, luminously white feather from between two of the peacock feathers in his hand fan ** **  
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"Just need to borrow the Ladyblogger-" he said, and his right hand whipped forward, flinging the white feather through the air over Marinette's head. Marinette twisted around in her seat just in time to see Alya blink a couple of times, before smiling and relaxing slightly in her seat. ** **  
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"-for a quick public service announcement," Gabriel finished without a pause. ** **  
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"Of course," said Alya, digging her phone out of her pocket. "Just give me a sec…" ** **  
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 _Mind control_ , thought Marinette. _God_ damn _it. Exactly what we_ don't _need right now. If_ either _of us gets hit by one of those things…_ ** **  
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"Father, wait!" said Adrien. ** **  
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"Yes?" asked Menelaus, plucking another of those white quills from between the feathers of the hand fan. ** **  
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"Father, if this is about last night, you said you weren't going to tell Marinette about that," Adrien said. ** **  
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Gabriel paused, eyes narrowing slightly behind that bejeweled mask. "So I did," he admitted. "Very well, you and Miss Dupain-Cheng may go. The rest of you, stay. I want you to hear this." ** **  
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Marinette sprang to her feet, Adrien just behind her, but before they could run for the door, the familiar glowing pink mask appeared in front of Gabriel's face. ** **  
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 _Oh no…_ thought Marinette, her heart sinking. ****  
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"Wait," said Menelaus, cocking his hand as if to throw that quill. Marinette froze, eyes on Gabriel, ready to dodge if necessary. ** **  
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"That's a good point," Gabriel said to empty air, "but I did promise Adrien…Yes, that works. Guard!" he called. ** **  
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The door opened to reveal the hulking form of Adrien's bodyguard. "Could you kindly escort Miss Dupain-Cheng and my son off the premises?" said Gabriel. "Make sure they don't do anything _heroic_ ," he added, lips quirking in an incongruous smile. ****  
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The bodyguard grunted and clasped a hand each to Marinette and Adrien's shoulders. He steered them out the classroom door, almost running into Mr. Haprele, who was standing at attention next to the door. ** **  
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At that point, Marinette's memory finally answered the prompt. _Menelaus: King of Sparta and husband of Helen in Homer's Illiad. Had his wife stolen from him by Paris of Troy, with the aid of the goddess Aphrodite, and started the Trojan war to get her back._ ** **  
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 _Hawkmoth's getting a little more highbrow in his naming._ ** **  
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"Ready, Miss Cesaire?" Marinette heard Menelaus ask behind her. ** **  
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"Almost...Good morning everyone-", Marinette heard Alya say, before the slammed door cut off her voice. ** **  
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* * *

"Good morning everyone, and welcome to a very special episode of the Ladyblog," Miss Cesaire said. "With me today in Miss Bustier's classroom," continued Cesaire, "is none other than Paris's latest akuma." She turned the phone around to face him. "Menelaus, I believe you had something you wished to tell our audience?" ** **  
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Gabriel smiled. The akuma's power had stripped away a year and more of pain, and the side of him that he rarely showed outside his lair was coming out to play. ** **  
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"Indeed I do," he said. "As you are without dispute the city's foremost authority on Ladybug, I felt you would be the one who had the right to the truth about her." ** **  
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He felt a momentary twinge of guilt. He had nothing but fury at Ladybug, but there would be certain unavoidable consequences to Adrien from the revelation he was about to make. Still, he was sure he could spare his son the worst of it. And besides, maybe he could finally get the Miraculouses, and all this would be a moot point. ** **  
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"You see," he continued smoothly, "It is thanks to Ladybug that I stand here before you today. You all of course know my son, Adrien, and I am sure most of you know that he has recently found the first stirrings of love with Miss Dupain-Cheng. I was, of course, deeply happy for him. Next to getting my Emily back, for Adrien to find love of his own was my greatest wish. Imagine then my horror when I came to his room last night, and discovered Ladybug forcing herself upon him." ** **  
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There were one or two gasps of horror. "No!" blurted out the little blonde who he'd akumatized as Princess Fragrance. ** **  
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"Oh, yes," he said, "I tried confronting her, of course, but she fled out the window before I could say much." ** **  
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"Question," said Adrien's friend Nino. "How come Adrien didn't mention this? I mean, he seemed totally normal towards Marinette, and you'd think even he would say something if Ladybug, like..." he trailed off. ** **  
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Menelaus shrugged. "I suggested to Adrien that he report this, but he refused. He said something about Ladybug being above the normal rules, I suppose he felt that it wouldn't do any good to report her misdeeds." ** **  
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He gestured down at his costume, "I'm grateful that at least someone is prepared to help me hold Ladybug accountable." ** **  
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He kept his smile purely internal. While he hadn't thought of it at the time, sending Adrien away seemed to actually be working to his advantage. Without Adrien here to clarify _exactly_ what had happened the previous night, he was free to insinuate that Ladybug's guilt was far greater than it actually was, while sticking close enough to the literal truth that it would be extraordinarily difficult for the rumors to be disproved later. ****  
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"Well folks," said Miss Cesaire after a moment's pause. "It would appear that Ladybug is not quite as pure as I'd believed her to be. Stay tuned, she should be arriving at any moment, and I am sure we'll all want to hear her answer to Menelaus's accusations." ** **  
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"Have her upload the video," Hawkmoth said in Menelaus's mind. "If it's uploaded, even for a few minutes, it can be copied beyond her ability to take it back down, even should Ladybug defeat you." ** **  
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"Miss Cesaire," Menelaus said. "Could you go ahead and upload the video? I'd really rather this not get mixed up with the battle footage." ** **  
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"Sure thing," said Miss Cesaire cheerfully. ** **  
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"No!" shouted Nino. He grabbed for the phone, but quick as a flash Menelaus hit him with one of his quills, the magic within overwriting Nino's loyalties just as Ladybug had stolen Adrien's heart. ** **  
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"Never mind," said Nino, settling back into his seat as Miss Cesaire pressed something on her phone screen. ** **  
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Menelaus was just reaching for another quill when there was a crash from outside. ** **  
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"Miss Cesaire," said Menelaus, "I think that our so-called heroes have just arrived. You might wish to start up the next video."

* * *

Cat Noir ducked out of the way of a punch from his bodyguard, then retaliated with a jumping punch of his own. Past the bodyguard, he saw Ladybug shove Mr. Haprele into a closet, then slam and lock the door on him. ****  
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_Should keep him out of the way for the moment,_ Cat Noir thought as he leapt up, grabbed the edge of the roof, and then swung back to kick the bodyguard in the face, knocking him back. He felt a surge of guilt, the man had been nothing but good to him (well, except for when he'd been akumatized that once), but there really wasn't anything he could do about it. ****  
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_And at least Miracle will heal him when this is over. He probably won't even remember it, mind-control victims rarely do._ ** **  
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In front of him, the door opened and Menelaus stepped out, already turning to fling one of those luminous white quills at him. Cat Noir simply let go and the quill whipped over his head, exploding harmlessly against the ceiling. ** **  
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Adrien's bodyguard made a grab for Cat Noir, and he leapt back before flipping over the railing, landing in a crouch on the floor of the courtyard. Glancing up, he saw Ladybug fling her yo-yo at his father, who deflected the attack with a flick of his hand fan before stepping back into the classroom door to allow Adrien's bodyguard to charge through where he'd been standing a moment ago towards Ladybug. Ladybug flung her yo-yo out and rapelled across the courtyard to land on the walkway on the other side. ** **  
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"No!" ** **  
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Adrien started as he recognized his father's voice shouting in sudden panic. ** **  
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 _What in the world?_ ** **  
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He heard his father shout something else, but couldn't make out the words. Then the door flew open again and Menelaus stepped out. The earlier look of relaxation was gone from his face, and he now looked as serious as he ever had as Gabriel Agreste. ** **  
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He plucked another of those white feathers from between the peacock feathers of his fan and flung it down at Cat. He leapt to the side, but another was already heading towards him. Ladybug's yo-yo lashed out to smack that quill out of the air with a flash of light, and then she leapt down beside him and tossed her yo-yo into the air with a cry of "Lucky Charm!".

* * *

"Lucky Charm!" ****  
****

Even as she called for the Charm, Ladybug saw Menelaus fling another quill down at her, but Adrien stepped forward, spinning his staff up into a shield to deflect it. Adrien's bodyguard rounding the corner of the walkway, making for the stairs. Still, it would take him a few seconds to reach them, and that would hopefully be all she needed to get the Charm. ** **  
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Even as another of Menelaus's quills burst against the blurring circle of Cat Noir's staff-shield, the sparkles of magic came together in a flash of white, and an enormous and ornate coffin appeared in midair. ** **  
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"Cat!," screamed Marinette, already leaping backwards. Cat flung himself forward and sideways, and the coffin landed between them with an almighty WHAM! that seemed to make the very ground shake. ** **  
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 _A coffin?_ she thought in familiar disbelief. _What in the world am I- oh, of course!_ ** **  
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With a flick of her wrist, she flung out her yo-yo to wrap around the onrushing bodyguard. It whipped around him, tying his arms to his sides and his legs together, and he fell to the floor, straining uselessly against the enchanted cord. ** **  
****

Even as she flung the cord, she kept her eyes on Menealus, ready to dodge the quill she was sure he was going to throw while her yo-yo was busy. But to her surprise, he instead fired another quill at Cat Noir, who dodged it and leapt back towards her, staff already spinning up into a shield again. ** **  
****

 _That's odd,_ she thought, but there was no time to wonder. Leaping forward, she grabbed the bound bodyguard and flung him into the coffin. A flick of the wrist retrieved her yo-yo, and then she slammed the lid down before the bodyguard could react. The locks clicked shut, and the coffin trembled slightly as the bodyguard struggled against the lid. ****  
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_That is going to be a pain to Miracle,_ she thought as she spun her yo-yo up into a shield. _But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it._ ** **  
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She bolted for one of the stairs, keeping an eye on Menelaus as she went. Adrian bolted in the opposite direction, zigging and zagging to dodge Menelaus's rapid volley of white quills. Ladybug hit the stairs and bolted up, still keeping an eye on Menelaus. She reached the top and launched her yo-yo at his back, but he whipped around, knocking her yo-yo aside with a slash of his fan. With Menelaus distracted, Cat Noir cut off the last few stairs, leaping up to the walkway and charging towards his father. Menelaus whipped around and launched another quill, but Cat Noir leapt up and over the dart, grabbing a ceiling girder and swinging to launch himself at Menelaus with both feet. Menelaus reached for another quill, but Ladybug flung her yo-yo and snagged his wrist, yanking his hand backwards before he could grab the quill. Adrien slammed into Menelaus, knocking him off his feet. ** **  
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"Cat!" shouted Ladybug. "The photo!" ** **  
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Cat's hand dived for the photo just peeking out of the akuma's jacket pocket, and with a quick motion he ripped it in two. The akuma materialized in a flash of darkness, and began to flutter away. ** **  
****

With a quick flick of her wrist, Marinette retrieved her yo-yo. "No more evildoing for you, little akuma," she murmured. The case split in half, and she began to spin it to build up the momentum. "Time to-" ** **  
****

Something _slammed_ into her from behind, knocking her sprawling. She rolled over to see a giant creature that looked like some unholy hybrid of a serpent and a centipede, colored a vivid dark blue. The monster reared up and let out a grating shriek, wriggling segmented arms. ****  
****

Cat Noir leapt forward, shouting "Cataclysm!" as he did. The familiar blackness surrounded his hand as he charged past her, but just before he touched it the creature exploded in a puff of darkness, leaving behind only a few rapidly fading black motes and a faintly luminous white feather, smaller and downier than Menelaus's quills. ** **  
****

Cat Noir flew through where the monster had been just a moment ago and landed on all fours. The walkway crumbled to dust beneath him, dumping both heroes onto the courtyard floor. Marinette rolled to her feet and looked up, just in time to see the feather float away as if wafted in an invisible breeze. ** **  
****

"What was _that_?" Cat Noir asked from beside her. ****  
****

"It's the Peacock," Marinette said quietly. "The other missing Miraculous. Master Fu said its power is to summon guardian spirits, just as the Moth Brooch empowers champions…"

She trailed off in horror as she suddenly remembered what she'd just done. Or rather, what she _hadn't_ just done. ****  
****

"Oh _hell,"_ she said. "Oh _ha-di maat_." ****  
****

"Milady?" asked Cat, looking at her confusedly. ** **  
****

"The akuma got away, Cat," she said, pointing up at the sky. "The akuma got away." ** **  
****

"We need to get to Master Fu's," said Cat Noir. " _Now_."


End file.
